Man Schooling:

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Sandy73, Jul 13, 2004.

  1. Sandy73
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    Sandy73 Guest

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    Man Schooling:

    For those of you who are married, were married, or are contemplating marriage - under the assumption that men need (or ought) to be trained for Marriage, Southwest Tech is offering a new 2 year associates degree....



    TWO YEAR DEGREE: Becoming a Real Man. That's right, in just six mini-mesters, you too, can be a real man as well as earn an ASSociates degree in MA (Male Arts). Please take a moment to look over the program outline.



    FIRST YEAR

    Autumn Schedule:

    MEN 101 Combating Stupidities

    MEN 102 You, Too, Can Do Housework

    MEN 103 PMS-Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut

    MEN 104 We Do Not Want Sleazy underclothes for Christmas



    Winter Schedule:

    MEN 110 Wonderful Laundry Techniques

    MEN 111 Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 2AM

    MEN 112 Parenting: It Doesn't End with Conception

    EAT 100 Get a Life, Learn to Cook

    EAT 101 Get a Life, Learn to Cook II

    ECON 001A What's Hers is Hers



    Spring Schedule:

    MEN 120 How NOT to Act Like a Butthole When you're Wrong

    MEN 121 Understanding Your Incompetence

    MEN 122 YOU, the Weaker Sex



    MEN 123 Reasons to Give Flowers

    ECON 001C What Was Yours is Hers





    SECOND YEAR
    Autumn Schedule:

    SEX 101 You CAN Fall Asleep Without It

    SEX 102 Morning Dilemma: If It's Awake, Take a Shower

    SEX 103 How to Stay Awake After Sex

    MEN 201 How to Put the Toilet Seat Down



    Elective (See Electives Below)

    Winter Schedule:

    MEN 210 The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency

    MEN 211 How to Not Act Younger than Your Children

    MEN 212 You Too, Can Be a Designated Driver

    MEN 213 Honest, You Don't Look Like Tom Cruise

    MEN 230A Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important



    Spring Schedule:

    MEN 220 Omitting %&*! From Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only)

    MEN 221 Fluffing the Blanket after Farting is NOT Necessary

    MEN 222 Real Men Ask for Directions

    MEN 223 Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay

    MEN 230B Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important 2



    Course Electives:

    EAT 101 Cooking with Tofu

    EAT 102 Utilization of Eating Utensils

    EAT 103 Burping and Belching Discreetly

    MEN 231 Mothers-in-law

    MEN 232 Appear to Be Listening

    MEN 233 Just Say "Yes, Dear"

    ECON 001C Cheaper to Keep Her
     
  2. HGROKIT
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    HGROKIT Active Member

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    yuk yuk
     
  3. Joz
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    Joz Senior Member

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    :clap: :clap:
     
  4. dmp
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    dmp Senior Member

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    Some similarities here...of course, I'm making this up off the top of my head :)


    Anyone have anything better, to replace some of mine? :)
     
  5. 5stringJeff
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    5stringJeff Senior Member

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    FIRST YEAR

    Autumn Schedule:

    BTCH 101 Combating Nagging

    BTCH 102 You, Too, Can Do Housework - Without Him

    BTCH 103 PMS - We'll Be at the Bar While You're Pigging Out on Ben and Jerry's

    BTCH 104 You DO look fat in those Jeans.


    Winter Schedule:

    BTCH 110 Laundry = Don't forget to Iron his Shirts

    BTCH 111 When your Husband gets in a 2am, he DOES NOT want to 'talk'.

    BTCH 112 Childbirth: Stop blaming the size of your ass on the child you had THREE YEARS AGO.

    EAT 100 Kitchen Time: When He says he'll be home at 5pm, have dinner ready by 4:55pm

    EAT 101 Eat better or He'll Leave You

    ECON 001A Spending more than He makes = bankruptcy.



    Spring Schedule:

    BTCH 120 How to Admit When you're Wrong - And Fix It by Doing That Thing He Likes

    BTCH 121 Understanding How Lucky You Are to be Married to Such a Wonderful Guy

    BTCH 122 YOU, the Weaker Sex; Just because you have 'a' vagina, doesn't mean you have the 'only' Vagina

    BTCH 123 How to Earn Flowers

    ECON 001C What Is Mine Is Mine, Including the Remote and the Recliner


    SECOND YEAR
    Autumn Schedule:

    SEX 101 You CAN Fall Asleep Durring It - just don't Bother your Man while he's Doing it.

    SEX 102 Morning Dilemma: If It's Awake, It's your Job to Satisfy it.

    SEX 103 How to Shut up and Go to Sleep After Sex

    BTCH 201 How to Work the Toilet Seat: Potential Energy is on Your Side


    Elective (See Electives Below)

    Winter Schedule:

    BTCH 210 The Remote Control: Don't even THINK about it

    BTCH 211 How to Be as Thin as Your Children

    BTCH 212 He Drinks Because you Nag

    BTCH 213 Honest, We don't like THAT much 'back'

    BTCH 230A The Super Bowl and the World Series Are Important


    Spring Schedule:

    BTCH 220 Cussing is a Turn On(Pass/Fail Only)

    BTCH 221 His Rights after Flatulence

    BTCH 222 Real Women Don't Ask their Husbands to Get Directions

    BTCH 223 Marriage Vows: More than just "Forsaking All Others - There is Stuff in There about Loving and Honoring, too.

    BTCH 223B Foreplay Schmoreplay


    Course Electives:

    EAT 101 Cooking with Red Meat: Why Atkins was a Genius

    EAT 102 Would it REALLY Kill you to Eat a Salad?

    EAT 103 Real Women don't mind Burping, Belching or Farting.

    BTCH 231 Mothers-in-law: Chances are, His Mom DOES Cook Better

    BTCH 232 If You Want Us to Listen, at Least Keep the Conversation Interesting

    BTCH 233 Just Say "Yes, Dear" to Sex

    ECON 001C Remember that Pre-Nup?
     
  6. Joz
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    Joz Senior Member

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    Boy, some of those were wicked. :)
     
  7. dmp
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    dmp Senior Member

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    YAY! Jeff! :)


    Cept Farting and Burping aren't 'lady-like' :)

    :D

    hehe
     
  8. HGROKIT
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    HGROKIT Active Member

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    ladies don't fart, they fluff
     
  9. Hobbit
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    Hobbit Senior Member

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    I'm remembering a quote from Al Bundy.

    Peg: What are you thinking?

    Al: If I wanted you to know, I'd be talking instead of thinking.
     

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