Leave your ties at home, Bootneck!

Discussion in 'Humor' started by DamnYankee, Sep 27, 2009.

  1. DamnYankee
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    DamnYankee No Neg Policy

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    The Taliban and A Little Old Jewish Man


    A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was
    plodding through the Afghanistan desert when he saw
    something far off in the distance.


    Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the
    object, only to find a Little old Jewish man at a small
    stand selling ties. The Taliban asked, "Do you have
    water?"

    The Jewish man replied, "I have no water.

    Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5."
    The Taliban shouted, "Idiot! I do not
    need an over-priced tie. I need water! I should kill you,
    but I must find water first!"


    "OK", said the old Jewish man,
    "it does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie
    and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than
    that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about
    two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the
    ice cold water you need. Shalom."

    Muttering, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.

    Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead.

    "Your crazy brother won't let me in without a tie!"


    (Godspeed to you)
     
  2. Bootneck
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    Bootneck Diamond Member

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    Sex in Afghanistan

    A Captain in the Infantry was posted to a Afghanistan.

    On his induction tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied around the back of the other ranks barracks.

    He asked the Sergeant Major showing him around, what the camel was for.

    The Sergeant Major replied, "Well Sir, it's a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual urges, so when they do, we have the camel."

    The Captain said, "Well, if it's good for morale, then I guess it's all right with me."

    After he had been at the fort for about 6 months, the Captain could not stand it anymore, so he told his Sergeant Major, "BRING IN THE CAMEL!!!"

    The Sergeant Major shrugged his shoulders and led the camel into the Captain's quarters. The Captain got a foot stool and proceeded to have vigorous sex with the camel.

    As he stepped, satisfied, down from the stool and was buttoning his pants he asked the Sergeant Major, "Is that how the enlisted men do it?"

    The Sergeant Major replied, "Well Sir, not really, they normally just use it to ride into town"!!
     
  3. DamnYankee
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    DamnYankee No Neg Policy

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    Going to miss you around here, and will be thinking about you often!
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1

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