Kissing Hank's Ass

YWN666

Freelance Beer Tester
Nov 11, 2008
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Jhuger - Kissing Hank's Ass


This morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door I found a well groomed, nicely dressed couple. The man spoke first:

John: "Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary."

Mary: "Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's ass with us."

Me: "Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want to kiss His ass?"

John: "If you kiss Hank's ass, He'll give you a million dollars; and if you don't, He'll kick the shit out of you."

Me: "What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shake-down?"

John: "Hank is a billionaire philanthropist. Hank built this town. Hank owns this town. He can do whatever He wants, and what He wants is to give you a million dollars, but He can't until you kiss His ass."

Me: "That doesn't make any sense. Why..."

Mary: "Who are you to question Hank's gift? Don't you want a million dollars? Isn't it worth a little kiss on the ass?"

Me: "Well maybe, if it's legit, but..."

John: "Then come kiss Hank's ass with us."

Me: "Do you kiss Hank's ass often?"

Mary: "Oh yes, all the time..."

Me: "And has He given you a million dollars?"

John: "Well no. You don't actually get the money until you leave town."

Me: "So why don't you just leave town now?"

Mary: "You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you don't get the money, and He kicks the shit out of you."

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I can't believe you don't believe in Hank, you are a gross sinner. I remember the first time I heard about Hank, my grandma asked me to kneel down beside her and kiss Hank's ass. I thought, "what could it hurt?"

Then, when a preacher told me that all of my rock albums were sinful, because Hank said so, I threw them all away. I mean, they cost me several hundred dollars, but I'd do anything for Hank.

The best part was, when I was married, how my ex-husband used to tell me that Hank wanted me to kiss my ex-husband's ass, too.

That's when I started thinking there was something fishy about Hank and Dave's relationship.
 
I read this about 14 months ago for the first time. Great analogy! Blind faith.....:lol:
 

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