Joke I heard today

[Powerman]

As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked, "What in the world are you doing?"

The daughter replied, "Mom, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone."

The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator. To his query as to what she was doing, the

daughter said, "Dad, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone."

A couple days later, the wife and daughter came home from a shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the family room. They entered that area and observed the husband/father sitting on
the couch, staring at the TV. The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy.

The wife asked, "What the hell are you doing?"

The husband replied, "I'm watching the ball game with my son-in-law."

 

[Said1]

Ew.

 

[Mr. P]

Ew.

I think it would be "Oooooooohhhhhhhh......Ahhhhhhhhhhh"! :tng:

 

[Said1]

I think it would be "Oooooooohhhhhhhh......Ahhhhhhhhhhh"! :tng:

Whatever turns you on. I don't judge.

 

[Mr. P]

Whatever turns you on. I don't judge.

"Ew" is not a judgement? Okay then...

 

[Said1]

"Ew" is not a judgement? Okay then...

It's a reaction, not unlike "ew, a big pile of dog poop with a fork in it" ( I saw that on the sidewalk once).

 

[Mr. P]

It's a reaction, not unlike "ew, a big pile of dog poop with a fork in it" ( I saw that on the sidewalk once).

As is "Oooooooohhhhhhhh......Ahhhhhhhhhhh" by the user of the toy.

I wonder if it's "C" cell or "D" cell batteries?

BTW...I think the joke/story was funny.

 

[Said1]

As is "Oooooooohhhhhhhh......Ahhhhhhhhhhh" by the user of the toy.

I wonder if it's "C" cell or "D" cell batteries?

BTW...I think the joke/story was funny.

Ok.

 

[The ClayTaurus]

It's a reaction, not unlike "ew, a big pile of dog poop with a fork in it" ( I saw that on the sidewalk once).

That's a fantastic idea. *stores in mental bank*

 

[no1tovote4]

The only problem with watching the game with your son-in-law is they don't know how to shut up. Shoot even this one just kept right on talking during the game.

 

[The ClayTaurus]

The only problem with watching the game with your son-in-law is they don't know how to shut up. Shoot even this one just kept right on talking during the game.

This future son-in-law knows that game time is quiet time, unless you're commenting on how much you hate Joey Harrington.

 

[no1tovote4]

This future son-in-law knows that game time is quiet time, unless you're commenting on how much you hate Joey Harrington.

LOL. How about how much you hate Tubbo... uh... I mean Madden? (Doesn't it always sound like he is eating a greasy sandwich?)

 

[The ClayTaurus]

LOL. How about how much you hate Tubbo... uh... I mean Madden? (Doesn't it always sound like he is eating a greasy sandwich?)

Madden is like you grandpa, you can't hate the guy.

Brent Musberger, however...


And Bill Walton... he is by FAR the worst.

 

[no1tovote4]

Grandpa? Dang. How old do you think I am?

 

[The ClayTaurus]

Grandpa? Dang. How old do you think I am?

I meant figuratively, in his demeanor. Perhaps if you grew up with him you wouldn't think so as much. I only know him from MNF and BOOM Tough Actin' Tinactin!

 

[no1tovote4]

I meant figuratively, in his demeanor. Perhaps if you grew up with him you wouldn't think so as much. I only know him from MNF and BOOM Tough Actin' Tinactin!

We used to turn down the sound on the TV when he was announcing Broncos Games and put on the Radio, we got sick and tired of him trashing the Broncos. The Broncos were 11-0 and he can only keep talking about how small the offensive line is and how Elway doesn't compare to Brett Fah-v-re. When we actaully listened to his announcing we would do a drinking game, yes even when I was a teen... Whenever he mentions Fah-v-re or talks about when he coached you had to drink...

"Boom!" was a hated word in our house.

 

[The ClayTaurus]

We used to turn down the sound on the TV when he was announcing Broncos Games and put on the Radio, we got sick and tired of him trashing the Broncos. The Broncos were 11-0 and he can only keep talking about how small the offensive line is and how Elway doesn't compare to Brett Fah-v-re. When we actaully listened to his announcing we would do a drinking game, yes even when I was a teen... Whenever he mentions Fah-v-re or talks about when he coached you had to drink...

"Boom!" was a hated word in our house.

John Madden is to you what Bill Walton is to me.