I've always liked this one...It's been around awhile.

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Mr. P, Oct 20, 2005.

  1. Mr. P

    Mr. P Senior Member

    Aug 5, 2004
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    South of the Mason Dixon
    NOAH'S ARK 2005

    Have a good laugh and remember "how true it is"

    In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in
    United States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become
    wicked and
    overpopulated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build
    another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few
    good humans."

    He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build
    the Ark
    before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40

    Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in
    yard, but no Ark.

    "Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the

    "Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I
    needed a
    building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the
    need for
    a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the
    neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and
    exceeding the height
    limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a

    Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted
    for the
    future costs of moving power lines and other overhead
    obstructions, to clear
    the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the
    sea would
    be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

    Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting
    local trees
    in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the
    that I needed the wood to save the owls -- but no go!

    When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an animal
    rights group.
    They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their
    They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was
    cruel and
    inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

    Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd
    conducted an environmental impact study on Your proposed flood.

    I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights
    Commission on
    how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
    Immigration and Naturalization is
    checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to
    The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to
    only Union workers with Ark-building experience.

    To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming
    I'm trying to leave the country illegally
    with endangered species.

    So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me
    to finish this Ark."

    Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a
    rainbow stretched across the sky.

    Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean You're not going
    to destroy the world?"

    "No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."
  2. fuzzykitten99

    fuzzykitten99 Senior Member

    Apr 23, 2004
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    You'll have to check the Marauder's Map...

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