Issak, here's a little something to make you laugh!

Discussion in 'Canada' started by Said1, Jun 23, 2004.

  1. Said1
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    Said1 VIP Member

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    I know this should go in the joke section, but it's pure Canadiana, so I hope no one minds :D

    > CANADIAN JOKE # 1
    > >
    > > After the North American Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.
    > >
    > > The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.
    > >
    > > The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.
    > >
    > > The guy from Molson sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.
    > > The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, "Why aren't you drinking a Molson's?"
    > >
    > > The Molson president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > CANADIAN JOKE #2
    > >
    > > A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm. His friend Doug stops him and asks, "Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer for?"
    > >
    > "I got it for my wife, eh." answers Bob.
    > >
    > "Oh!" exclaims Doug, "Good trade."
    > >
    > >
    > > CANADIAN JOKE #3
    > >
    > >
    > > An Ontarian wanted to become a Newfie. He went to the neurosurgeon and asked, "Is there anything you can do to me that would make me into a Newfie?"
    > >
    > > "Sure it's easy." replied the neurosurgeon. "All I have to do is
    cut out 1/3 of your brain, and you'll be a Newfie."
    > >
    > He was very pleased, and immediately underwent the operation.
    > However, the neurosurgeon's knife slipped, and instead of cutting 1/3 of the patient's brain, the surgeon accidentally cut out 2/3 of the patient's brain.
    > >
    > > He was terribly remorseful, and waited impatiently beside the patient's bed as the patient recovered from the anesthetic. As soon as the patient was conscious, the neurosurgeon said to him "I'm terribly sorry, but
    > there was a ghastly accident. Instead of cutting out 1/3 of your brain, I accidentally cut out 2/3 of your brain."
    > >
    > > The patient replied "Qu'est-ce que vous avez dit, monsieur?"
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > CANADIAN JOKE #4
    > >
    > > Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia?
    > >
    > The Newfies were lobbing hand grenades; the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing them back.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > CANADIAN JOKE #5
    > >
    > > In Canada, we have two seasons...six months of winter and six months of poor snowmobiling.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > CANADIAN JOKE #6
    > >
    > > One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pub together. They proceeded to each buy a pint of Labatt Blue. Just as they were about to enjoy their beverages, three flies landed in each of their pints.
    > >
    > >
    > > CANADIAN JOKE #7
    > >
    > > A Quebecer, staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper.
    > >
    > "Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge.
    > >
    > "Toilette pepper!" yelled the Quebecer.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > CANADIAN JOKE #8
    > >
    > > An American, a Scot and a Canadian were in a terrible car
    accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and
    nurses present asked him what happened.
    > >
    > > "Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St.Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and said that for a donation of $50, we could return to earth. So of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50, and the next thing I knew I was back here."
    > >
    > > "That's amazing!" said the one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?"
    > >
    > > "Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay his."
    > >
    > >
     
  2. MrMarbles
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    MrMarbles Member

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    It's funny becasue it's true!
     
  3. lilcountriegal
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    lilcountriegal Senior Member

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    Okay okay okay... translate this:

    The patient replied "Qu'est-ce que vous avez dit, monsieur?"

    LOL


    (btw... I loved the Molson joke. printed it out to give to my brother in law because thats the only beer he drinks and he razzes me all the time for drinking Coors Lite)
     
  4. Enthused
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    Enthused Rookie

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    From what I remember of high school French it means:

    What is that you are saying Sir?
     
  5. Said1
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    Said1 VIP Member

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    #4 was my fav. I just noticed I spelled IsAAk wrong :mad: Oh well, I gotta be me :D
     
  6. Zhukov
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    Zhukov VIP Member

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    If that's the end of the joke, I don't get it.

    If the punchline was accidentally ommited, here's my guess as to the rest of the joke:


    The englishman, disgusted, hails the bartender and demands another beer.

    The american nonchalantly plucks the fly from his brew, tosses it aside, and enjoys his beer as if nothing had happened.

    The canadian grabs the fly and starts squezing it, screaming, "Give it back! Give it back!"
     
  7. Isaac Brock
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    Isaac Brock Active Member

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    :laugh:
    Oldies but goodies! No worries about the name... eh?
     
  8. Said1
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    Said1 VIP Member

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    I was looking at a book entitled "Canadian Sayings" (or something like that) at a book store a few years ago, and you can imagine my surprise when I saw another book the other day entitled "Canadian Sayings II! I didn't know there was that much material :D I want to get the first one for the bathroom :D
     

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