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"Hey man... let's start over. I brought a peace offering. Here's yer damn Ding Dong. Eat it an like it.A sealed prepackaged treat would suffice
'sealed, prepackaged treat' . . . . sounds like a dog biscuit.
No, he'll be getting no treats from me. No tricks either. Just niceness and logic and if he fails to grasp the logic? Then I guess we'll play parking war except that I'll have no qualms about parking in front of his house now.
Now stop fucking with my side of the street and be a decent fucking neighbor. Capice? You gots a lotta nice things over there. Flammable things. Be a shame... you know... if they'd spontaneously combust some day when you were out. That's why I got this camera here, you see. Works in the dark too. Just to make sure your place stays nice and safe. You reading me? It watches MY things too. So I'm doing you a favor by including you in my little neighborhood 'watch' program, okay?
Now, what say from now on... you park on YOUR side of the street, like a normal good neighbor; and we'll park on OUR side of the street. This way, we'll fucking get along, aright? Now get the fuck off my property and I'll bake you some brownies later."
Is this the kinda conversation you wanna have?