In your opinion....

[Spoonman]

Exactly. I don't even open the neg reps - take away their voice completely. Scroll past when people quote them.

That's all I got, really.

I will say this though. Read the rules thread, word-for-word, and report based on which rule was broken. In my experience, admin and staff are very helpful. But you have to loop them, and you have to be patient.

This board is tame, because it is moderated. there are a lot of boards out there that are unmoderated if you really want to see the fur fly.

It's the same rhetoric over and over, though, only they don't hold back on the cuss words ands insults - who needs that? After a while that is why one doesn't even bother to discuss certain topics, because it's the same thing over and over - nobody is changing anyone's mind.

that is very true. it is about as partisan here as it is in congress. unfortunately that is becoming the way of the world. and nothing ever gets accomplished when such hard lines are drawn in the sand

 

[Mertex]

This board is tame, because it is moderated. there are a lot of boards out there that are unmoderated if you really want to see the fur fly.

It's the same rhetoric over and over, though, only they don't hold back on the cuss words ands insults - who needs that? After a while that is why one doesn't even bother to discuss certain topics, because it's the same thing over and over - nobody is changing anyone's mind.

that is very true. it is about as partisan here as it is in congress. unfortunately that is becoming the way of the world. and nothing ever gets accomplished when such hard lines are drawn in the sand

Sad but true. Fortunately, truth finds a way of surfacing, and reasonable people will not deny it, and there will be some changes, ahhhhh, such is life.

 

[Spoonman]

It's the same rhetoric over and over, though, only they don't hold back on the cuss words ands insults - who needs that? After a while that is why one doesn't even bother to discuss certain topics, because it's the same thing over and over - nobody is changing anyone's mind.

that is very true. it is about as partisan here as it is in congress. unfortunately that is becoming the way of the world. and nothing ever gets accomplished when such hard lines are drawn in the sand

Sad but true. Fortunately, truth finds a way of surfacing, and reasonable people will not deny it, and there will be some changes, ahhhhh, such is life.

by reasonable people i assume you are refering to the swing vote lol

 

[Mertex]

that is very true. it is about as partisan here as it is in congress. unfortunately that is becoming the way of the world. and nothing ever gets accomplished when such hard lines are drawn in the sand

Sad but true. Fortunately, truth finds a way of surfacing, and reasonable people will not deny it, and there will be some changes, ahhhhh, such is life.

by reasonable people i assume you are refering to the swing vote lol

I don't know if they are swing votes or not, by reasonable people, I mean people that are not driven just by party, but actually pay attention to facts.

 

[Spoonman]

Sad but true. Fortunately, truth finds a way of surfacing, and reasonable people will not deny it, and there will be some changes, ahhhhh, such is life.

by reasonable people i assume you are refering to the swing vote lol

I don't know if they are swing votes or not, by reasonable people, I mean people that are not driven just by party, but actually pay attention to facts.

yep, the swing vote. the vote in the middle who would go either way depending on what they heard.

 

[Mertex]

by reasonable people i assume you are refering to the swing vote lol

I don't know if they are swing votes or not, by reasonable people, I mean people that are not driven just by party, but actually pay attention to facts.

yep, the swing vote. the vote in the middle who would go either way depending on what they heard.

Well, not always....sometimes I agree with the opposite party on a certain issue, doesn't mean that I will switch my vote based on that one issue, but as far as discussing that issue on a message board, I will take the side I agree with whether or not I'm in total agreement with that party.
It's a difficult position, because some people can't accept anything at all from the opposite party, and can't accept that you truly agree with them on that one issue, and will call you a hypocrite or some such thing.

 

[Foxfyre]

I left my last board home, several years ago, because it had become impossible to discuss anything with anybody there without the 'dickwads' showing up to make the hateful comments and/or derail the thread. And yes, it does wear you down when you cannot make the most innocent post withut somebody calling you a name, questioning your motives, judging you, or accusing you of something. There have been times at USMB that I have been tempted to leave for the same reason, but there is an occasional grown up thread that is sufficiently ineresting to offset it. And I've gotten tougher and more introspective over the years too.

So I know exactly where Gracie is coming from, except that I admit I bristled a little bit when she targeted "people of faith" as the primary culprits. While I have been a bit discouraged at the unChristian behavior of some of my Christian friends here, I will say that I have been targeted, accused, and attacked by the non-religious and Atheists far more often than I have had problems with people of faith. So let's at least call that one a draw. It is not 'religion' or lack thereof that prompts such behavior, but. . . .

. . . .hanging out my temporary shingle here. . . .

And five cents may be all this is worth but, in my opinion, the childish, hateful and petty here:

1. Are people who are naturally that way

2. People who want to be that way in real life but don't dare do that so they vent here under the shield of anonymity--such people are far more selfish than having any concern for others IMO. . . .

3. Those who don't read well or carefully and don't give the other person an opportunity to qualify or clarify but rather jump to unwarranted conclusions and create a toxic situation that the other person never intended. . . .

4. The insecure and immature who has little or nothing to contribute but tries to build his/her own ego by bullying others with neg rep or hateful comments. . . .some do this even to newbies on introduction threads.

5. The self righteous--both religious and non religious--who think bludgeoning others into submission or defeat makes them look smart and - well - righteous.

6. Those who truly don't take any of this seriously and do this as some kind of sport and are doing it to entertain themselves. These are harmless enough and the wise are even more wise to not take them seriously. Unfortunately for them, they sometimes so stereotype themselves, they make it difficult to take them seriously even when they are motivated to be serious.

7. Those who are commissioned or paid to use any means necessary to derail and, if possible shut down, any thread of substance that casts their political or social group in a bad light and they often use the hateful, snarky, judgmental, accusatory, or stupid statement to start the food fight that will do it. And because it seems to be human nature that such bait cannot be resisted, they often succeed.

SUMMARY: The advice to not take the hateful seriously is very good advice, but in truth, advice is often much easier to give than it is to take. We can choose how we will respond to others. We can't always choose how we feel.

 

[Spoonman]

I don't know if they are swing votes or not, by reasonable people, I mean people that are not driven just by party, but actually pay attention to facts.

yep, the swing vote. the vote in the middle who would go either way depending on what they heard.

Well, not always....sometimes I agree with the opposite party on a certain issue, doesn't mean that I will switch my vote based on that one issue, but as far as discussing that issue on a message board, I will take the side I agree with whether or not I'm in total agreement with that party.
It's a difficult position, because some people can't accept anything at all from the opposite party, and can't accept that you truly agree with them on that one issue, and will call you a hypocrite or some such thing.

I totally hear you. but lets take a look at the two worlds, the message board world and the real world. first the message board world. what happens here, whether people agree or not. whether peoples point of views are changed. it all doesn't impact what happens in the real world so much. because when it comes time to vote, where it does matter, most people are going to either go thier usual right or usual left. and thats why they estimate in an election at leat 80% of the vote is already locked up which way they will go. its the 20% or the swing vote that could go either way. and thats what politicians target. but the way our electoral sytem works, that 20% gets diluted even further. because the swing votes in say CA don't really matter. That state is going democrat with its electoral votes pretty much no matter what. and Texas will go republican. so now you come down to the battle ground states. the states that could go either way. and thats where the focus gets put. these are the states where elections are won or lost. the side that does the best job convincing the voters in these states will most likely win.

and thats why i say a very partisan attitude prevents us from making practical change. the left will never hold their side accountable, the right will never hold theirs. so we end up in a stalemate.

 

[Gracie]

I owe a heck of a lot of reps to some very wise people. But I ran out again...so I will pick up where I left off.

In the meantime...not only was I venting in perplexity last night, I was also kinda loaded on a pain pill I hadn't taken in awhile. That damn sewing machine table wore me out yesterday. But today...I am finishing it. Call it "therapy", if you will, lol.

I'm tougher than I look. And that ain't me on the horse in my avie. I have my moments of lowered armor and no warrior paint. Last night...I was a bit less protected and off my guard. Today...whole different ballgame.

I really appreciate you guys. When one is down....someone is always here to grab ya by the ponytail and yank yer ass back up again. I needed that, and y'all came through. Thank you.

Anywho...hugs to you all. And please...don't fight amongst yourself. Agree to disagree, cyber slap, grab a ponytail or a loincloth and yank lightly. But hold back on the power of your strength. We are like family. We can wrestle around and yell but deep down? I don't think those here in this thread really want to cause pain. So keep that in mind for today, ok?

I'm off to finish that DAMN table desk thingy. Will post a pic soon. And once again..thank you for participating in the discussion. Feel free to carry on..I will just be MIA cuz I gotta varnish that critter sitting outside in the sun.

 

[Lumpy 1]

I think the book of James must be missing from their Bible.

Also, Phil 4:8.

Not from mine. I know this verse well.

Okay, we're talking about toxic people right now.

...Oh, never mind..

 

[Lumpy 1]

I used to be pretty angry myself. Insecure. But I never went out of my way to go hunt someone down just to be crude to them. I fought back, yes. Pretty nastily too. But I never gave what wasn't dished. Back me in a corner, and I would come out swinging. Hard. Dirty and mean. Then, I guess I had an ephiphany. A friend of mine always stayed out of the bickering and name calling and overall nastiness and singled me out and said "you are not fighting back any more. You are being MEAN". It was like a slap in the face. It took awhile, but I learned to curb my temper. Oh, it still simmers but now I just walk away. Unless I am feeling pretty unwell, or am tired, or something happened the day the "bully" decided it is a good day to rag me. Then I say my usual "fuck you", THEN walk away. Before, I would continue on with the bullshit arguing that got me nowhere except higher blood pressure and the other person thrilled they pushed more buttons. Now? I find a new thread and try like hell to avoid that person. I had this person on ignore for some time, then took them off once because they used the [MENTION=42649]Gracie[/MENTION] feature and I thought "maybe they said something they wanted me to see that was not so nasty". Wrong. I even thanked this person for some posts that agreed with my perspective. In response, I got more nasty remarks. So I took them on again. Waited a few months, took them back off again. My mistake. This last proverbial straw was me telling too much about my past life experiences to someone experiencing the same problem and here she comes...judging me about something she has no clue about yet finding it enjoyable to poke me about it. I was not refering to her at all. I was trying to help someone else.
It pissed me off. Big time. Hence, the last "fuck you", the deciding on whether to close my rep system AFTER I neg her because if she negs me...all my rep goes bye bye. Every bit of it. Which in turn makes me wonder why I care about my rep so much. Do I want it so others can see I am a fair and decent person who thanks and is thanked back...or do I have it for vanity? I still haven't figured that out yet. Still musing on it. Then I mused that why should I be afraid of what some stupid points make after being treated like a pile of crap when I didn't deserve it. I even tried to talk to this person about how we used to get along lightly when I was here before and was called a stalker no matter who I was talking to in any thread she happened to be in herself, yet I never addressed her at all. Not only did it make it more confusing for me, it began to dredge up the old MEAN me and it took a lot of willpower to not let loose and wind up getting banned. And the good folks here outweigh the bad.
So then I debated on whether one person spoiling the whole barrel was worth me leaving a place I have come to enjoy because of the people I have met here and have treated me accordingly....if I do or say something that warrants a finger waggle...then I respect them enough to listen. And there are more of them than this ONE bitter woman that has nothing nice to say about anyone and is always ready to pounce ...either on me, or some other person. So I am still at the musing point of the whys and wherefores. For now...she is on ignore. For good. Maybe that will help me keep enjoying USMB even though I may not agree with everyone and perhaps bicker now and then but I always still walk away from the convo respecting their opinion and forgetting about the spat the next day. Except for this one person. Her tongue is a dagger and she never hesitates to use it. I think of others who did the same and were kicked to the curb, so I wonder why she is exempt in her nastiness...which brings me back to wondering if I should even stay. Then I wonder why I should even CONSIDER leaving over someone that means squat when so many mean a lot to me.

Whew. Too much said. I think I need to go to bed. At least if she sees this thread and comes to spit and foam, I won't see it. Unless someone quotes her. Then I will have to use self control again. Which brings me back to all the musings and square one again.

I'm tired. Too much thinking. She isn't worth it.

Goodnight folks.

Your post should include pictures..at least some smilies, the non smiling ones...

 

[Two Thumbs]

A whole LOT of 'they, them and those' coming from people that should be saying 'me, myself and I'.

I love it anyway.

 

[Michelle420]

...why do some folks show such hatefulness on message boards? You know the kind: They butt in with some snarky remark, or use what someone else shared in a serious discussion that was an attempt to help and twist it all around to make it something else, or are just flat out rude and obnoxious.

Are they sick? Pain makes people be mean. Is it insecurity? Seeing people help others makes them feel left out maybe? Or are they just flat out mean to the core? They can't see the person they aim their barbs at...they just let fly with no holding back. Why? Any clue, in your opinion, why there is no governor on their typing a post?

I think some people objectify others.

The anonymity makes it easy to do.

 

[JakeStarkey]

Gracie, most of us have our moment, some a lot more than others.

Very, very few are as responsible as Kevin_Kennedy and paperview and a few others.

I am not. I have my moments, then I laugh at myself and try to do better.

We have some who define their characters apparently by how mean they can be to those they don't like. It seems the more vicious are those who have been bummed out that the Board admin has really stomped down on behavior in certain forums.

It is certainly far more decent overall, in my opinion, than four years ago when I joined.

 

[Geaux4it]

...why do some folks show such hatefulness on message boards? You know the kind: They butt in with some snarky remark, or use what someone else shared in a serious discussion that was an attempt to help and twist it all around to make it something else, or are just flat out rude and obnoxious.

Are they sick? Pain makes people be mean. Is it insecurity? Seeing people help others makes them feel left out maybe? Or are they just flat out mean to the core? They can't see the person they aim their barbs at...they just let fly with no holding back. Why? Any clue, in your opinion, why there is no governor on their typing a post?

Dude, quit talking about roughly 8 leftist Obama drones on this board.

-Geaux

 

[Geaux4it]

I used to be pretty angry myself. Insecure. But I never went out of my way to go hunt someone down just to be crude to them. I fought back, yes. Pretty nastily too. But I never gave what wasn't dished. Back me in a corner, and I would come out swinging. Hard. Dirty and mean. Then, I guess I had an ephiphany. A friend of mine always stayed out of the bickering and name calling and overall nastiness and singled me out and said "you are not fighting back any more. You are being MEAN". It was like a slap in the face. It took awhile, but I learned to curb my temper. Oh, it still simmers but now I just walk away. Unless I am feeling pretty unwell, or am tired, or something happened the day the "bully" decided it is a good day to rag me. Then I say my usual "fuck you", THEN walk away. Before, I would continue on with the bullshit arguing that got me nowhere except higher blood pressure and the other person thrilled they pushed more buttons. Now? I find a new thread and try like hell to avoid that person. I had this person on ignore for some time, then took them off once because they used the [MENTION=42649]Gracie[/MENTION] feature and I thought "maybe they said something they wanted me to see that was not so nasty". Wrong. I even thanked this person for some posts that agreed with my perspective. In response, I got more nasty remarks. So I took them on again. Waited a few months, took them back off again. My mistake. This last proverbial straw was me telling too much about my past life experiences to someone experiencing the same problem and here she comes...judging me about something she has no clue about yet finding it enjoyable to poke me about it. I was not refering to her at all. I was trying to help someone else.
It pissed me off. Big time. Hence, the last "fuck you", the deciding on whether to close my rep system AFTER I neg her because if she negs me...all my rep goes bye bye. Every bit of it. Which in turn makes me wonder why I care about my rep so much. Do I want it so others can see I am a fair and decent person who thanks and is thanked back...or do I have it for vanity? I still haven't figured that out yet. Still musing on it. Then I mused that why should I be afraid of what some stupid points make after being treated like a pile of crap when I didn't deserve it. I even tried to talk to this person about how we used to get along lightly when I was here before and was called a stalker no matter who I was talking to in any thread she happened to be in herself, yet I never addressed her at all. Not only did it make it more confusing for me, it began to dredge up the old MEAN me and it took a lot of willpower to not let loose and wind up getting banned. And the good folks here outweigh the bad.
So then I debated on whether one person spoiling the whole barrel was worth me leaving a place I have come to enjoy because of the people I have met here and have treated me accordingly....if I do or say something that warrants a finger waggle...then I respect them enough to listen. And there are more of them than this ONE bitter woman that has nothing nice to say about anyone and is always ready to pounce ...either on me, or some other person. So I am still at the musing point of the whys and wherefores. For now...she is on ignore. For good. Maybe that will help me keep enjoying USMB even though I may not agree with everyone and perhaps bicker now and then but I always still walk away from the convo respecting their opinion and forgetting about the spat the next day. Except for this one person. Her tongue is a dagger and she never hesitates to use it. I think of others who did the same and were kicked to the curb, so I wonder why she is exempt in her nastiness...which brings me back to wondering if I should even stay. Then I wonder why I should even CONSIDER leaving over someone that means squat when so many mean a lot to me.

Whew. Too much said. I think I need to go to bed. At least if she sees this thread and comes to spit and foam, I won't see it. Unless someone quotes her. Then I will have to use self control again. Which brings me back to all the musings and square one again.

I'm tired. Too much thinking. She isn't worth it.

Goodnight folks.

WTF?

-Geaux

 

[JOSweetHeart]

I think that people do what they do because they know that they can get away with it.

God bless you always!!!

Holly

 

[JakeStarkey]

"quit talking about roughly 8 leftist Obama drones on this board"

It has been far from the far right and the far left.

 

[AquaAthena]

...why do some folks show such hatefulness on message boards? You know the kind: They butt in with some snarky remark, or use what someone else shared in a serious discussion that was an attempt to help and twist it all around to make it something else, or are just flat out rude and obnoxious.

Are they sick? Pain makes people be mean. Is it insecurity? Seeing people help others makes them feel left out maybe? Or are they just flat out mean to the core? They can't see the person they aim their barbs at...they just let fly with no holding back. Why? Any clue, in your opinion, why there is no governor on their typing a post?

Great OP Gracie.

I have noticed the type posters you mention, both past and present, and the way I handle it, is just visually ignore them. They are the reasons I don't argue opinions here. I am not going to let them bring me down to their level. Once they start with character attacks, accusatory remarks and ad hominems, etc., I learn quickly whom to bypass. I seldom go back even to read posts made to my posts. I have designed the site to be at my service and happiness. I feel if I have a problem with something a poster posts, then it is my problem, not theirs, and mine to do something about. Easy. One learns fast who is in control of themselves and who isn't. I trust posting with you, Gracie.

Many people lose sight, whether deliberately or ignorantly, of the following wisdom:

"In debate, remember that you and the point you are making are two different things."

So they attack.

 

[QuickHitCurepon]

Perhaps they want to tear down anyone to their level? If they are miserable, then so must everyone else? I have mused on this strange behavior for years and still have no answer.

They will never learn.