The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act is, what, 906 pages? The Dodd-Frank Wall Street Reform and Consumer Protection Act is, what, 848 pages? I don't have time to read that shit. I'm too busy learning about something Barack Obama did on a playground 40 years ago. I'm too busy learning about something Mitt Romney did to his dog 20 years ago. I can't keep track of how many vacations that black bitch Michelle Obama has taken and stay on top of stupid stuff like financial reform at the same time. A man has got to have priorities. Besides, I've already made up my mind that Wall Street is doing God's work and the only crooks involved in the crash are the negroes who lied on their loan applications so they could move into my neighborhood. The CRA is to blame. All those negroes in America and Iceland and Ireland and England and Spain made a giant subprime bubble because Jesse Jackson was picketing outside, uh, the Allied Irish Bank and the Bank of Scotland...and...uh...something. He made those German banks that collapsed to lend money to...uh...so the only financial reform we need is to get those negroes to pay back their loans. By the way, I got a little problem with my HELOC, so if you know anyone who wants to buy an RV and/or a boat and/or a big screen plasma TV with a surround sound system, let me know. The bank said something about "negative amortization", whatever the hell that is. I would sell this crap to my neighbors but a bunch of them are in the foreclosure process, and the rest are trying to offload their own boats and stereos. My wife has become hooked on garage sales. As for health reform, the death panels are waiting for me the day I turn 65. I don't need to read any bill to know that. That Sarah Palin is really hot! If she says something, I know it is true. And then there's all these fricking Mexicans around here, stealing jobs. Don't talk to me about "immigration reform". Just round these bastards up and we will get back to full employment in no time, just like we had in 2007 before 20 million of them poured over the border on Obama's watch. We lost 8 million jobs since Obama took office. That's what I heard. I don't have time to check every fact I believe, you know! Things were going great until he forged his birth certificate and took over. He drove our economy right off a cliff. Hey, did you hear that Obama smoked a doobie back in college? And he inhaled! At least that is what I heard. I'm just passing it on. Speaking of falling off cliffs, when is Congress going to pay off my student loan? I've been stuck with the thing for 25 years now I still owe $45,000 on my original $25,000 loan. Those damned Republicans owe me money. I am going to make a cardboard sign and camp out in the park until they pay up. Or until it rains or I run out of artisan coffee. Read a piece of legislation? I am too busy posting on forums six hours a day. Those people know more about what is in the law than I can learn by reading it. And Huffington Post and Rachel Maddow tell me the whole truth I need to know. Why would they lie? They are saving me a lot of time and I appreciate that. I just wish someone would stop those negative TV ads I watch all night. They are buying my vote and my Congressman, whoever that is. Although I do like the ones that tell me stuff I already know. That email I got about Romney throwing puppies into rush hour traffic should be the standard for what's acceptable in our political discourse. And anything the labor unions have to say. So those ones are okay. I just want the other ones stopped. You know what I mean. I can't wait to hear the next juicy tidbit that comes out of the pipe. So don't tell me I am not informed. I am busy all day getting informed. I stay on top of this stuff like white on rice.