Home v. Work: Child Rearing not Worthy of Time and Talents of Intelligent Humans

Discussion in 'Health and Lifestyle' started by Annie, Jun 13, 2006.

  1. Annie
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    Annie Diamond Member

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    Hey there's a book out:

    http://www.abcnews.go.com/GMA/Books/story?id=2067008&page=1

    The wingnuts are not all dead:

    Lots and lots more...

    When I got married, I planned on it being forever. I chose not to persue a law degree, it seemed a good idea at the time. When I had children, I left a managerial position at the phone company, working on assigning future area codes to MSA's. We didn't require the salary, had set our priorities prior to marriage.

    I stayed home for 14 years. I was active in politics, community work, PTA. I was lucky to have quite a circle of friends from childhood, that were also stay-at-home moms. I also had many friends that were in law, medicine, and education that chose day care for their kids. Now all of our children are raised, at least to being out of high school. Some are married with children of their own. Not one of the mom's that stayed home, all were college grads some with advanced professional degrees, regreted their choice. They acknowledge they would have gone further career-wise if they'd chosen differently.

    My friends that opted day care, well 2 out of 5 have lingering problems with their adult children. They blame the schools/day care, not their choices. I empathize, but wonder about those weekend shopping trips the parents made, leaving the kids at home with a babysitter, cause it's 'hard' to get errands done with kids. I do remember at the time wondering how they could take 'couple vacations' leaving the kids with sitter or grandparents, when they had so little time with the kids to begin with?

    I didn't feel 'neglectful' when I did volunteer activities or went out on a 'date' with my husband, as I spent hundreds of hours playing games, kissing boo boos, at the park, at their schools, and reading to them. Oh yeah, there were the hours of mind numbing 'nothingness' when they were squabbling, but even those hours were used to teach them problem solving.

    Now the 3 out of 5 that maintain good relations with their adult children, they put a high priority on spending their after work hours, vacations, and weekends with their kids. One of them went part-time during the kids high school years, wanting to be able to keep and eye on them.

    I think both working and stay at home moms can have good relations with their kids, but my guess is that a successful working mom has much less alone time, but does escape much of the 'angst' of hours of 'lack of adult' hours.
     
  2. jillian
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    jillian Princess Supporting Member

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    Exactly!! The one thing that seems to go by the wayside, at least for me, is housekeeping. That has to be a joint effort. But I figure my son won't complain that things get out of hand from time to time and would rather have more of my company when we're all at home. :beer:
     
  3. dmp
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    dmp Senior Member

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    $10 says Linda Hirshman is LOUSY in bed.
     
  4. 5stringJeff
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    5stringJeff Senior Member

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    My wife chose to stay at home, even though it was a financial hit for the household, because, GASP, she wanted to experience motherhood to the fullest! Why don't feminazis get it? Many women - dare I say, most - desire to be mothers at some level.
     
  5. 5stringJeff
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    5stringJeff Senior Member

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    $20 says she's batting for the other team.
     
  6. Bonnie
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    Bonnie Senior Member

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    Essentially Hirshman is saying the only choice is working, well so much for women actually having a choice then.

    Most moms I know work because they have to.. to supplement hubby's income so their kids can live in better neighborhoods and attend better schools. I can also state that most of them would give their right arms to be able to stay home and devote more time to their husbands and kids. Hirshman also states that husbands are making their wives stay at home, LOL I can say again most husbands I know fully support their wives working to the point of kicking them out of bed in the morning to do so.
     
  7. jillian
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    jillian Princess Supporting Member

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    Working doesn't make one a "feminazi".
    *Edit* It's about choice. Your wife made one choice, I made another. I don't see where I don't experience "motherhood to the fullest". BTW, I very much wanted to be a mother. That doesn't mean my ability/desire to work dried up.
     
  8. dmp
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    dmp Senior Member

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    I can't believe ANY woman on this forum would conclude that kids having a stay-at-home mom isn't the BEST solution. 2-working-families 'can' work, I suppose, but is not ideal.
     
  9. 5stringJeff
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    5stringJeff Senior Member

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    That's not what I was saying. I was referring to the author of the piece, who seems to suggest that all women must work in order to advance the radical feminist agenda.
     
  10. Bonnie
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    Bonnie Senior Member

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    Lol, can't keep em happy in the sheets huh?
     

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