Highschool Metaphors

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Hagbard Celine, Jul 25, 2006.

  1. Hagbard Celine
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    Hagbard Celine Senior Member

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    We can all benefit from others’ writing styles…or maybe not. Check this out…



    Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their
    collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school
    essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of
    teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners.....


    1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides
    gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

    2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
    underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

    3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a
    guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of
    those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country
    speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse
    without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

    4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was
    room-temperature Canadian beef.

    5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes
    just before it throws up.

    6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

    7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

    8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated
    because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge
    at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

    9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
    bowling ball wouldn't.

    10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag
    filled with vegetable soup.

    11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
    surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and
    Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

    12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

    13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you
    fry them in hot grease.

    14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across
    the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having
    left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka
    at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

    15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences
    that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

    16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had
    also never met.

    17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the
    East River.

    18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only
    one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

    19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

    20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil,
    this plan just might work.

    21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not
    eating for a while.

    22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either,
    but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land
    mine or something.

    23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg
    behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

    24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around power
    tools.

    25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells...
    as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 2
  2. 5stringJeff
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    5stringJeff Senior Member

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    Awesome! I had just been thinking about the hummingbird one a few days ago and was wondering where I could find this whole list again!
     
  3. Mr.Conley
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    Mr.Conley Senior Member

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    I take back everything I've ever said about the supposed educational crisis. I now realize that it no longer exists.
     
  4. Nienna
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    Nienna Senior Member

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    17, 19, 20... :d
     
  5. KarlMarx
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    KarlMarx Senior Member

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    23 .. excellent!!!!
     

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