golf advice

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Yurt, Jan 8, 2010.

  1. Yurt

    Yurt Gold Member

    Jun 15, 2004
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    Hot air ballon
    A father, son and grandson went to the country club for their weekly
    round of golf. Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young
    blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them

    She explained that the member who brought her to the club for a round
    of golf had an emergency that called him away and asked the trio
    whether she could join them.

    Naturally, the guys all agreed.

    Smiling,the blonde thanked them and said, 'Look, fellows, I work in a
    topless bar as a dancer, so nothing shocks me anymore. If any of you
    want to smoke cigars, have a beer, bet, swear, tell off-color stories
    or do anything that you normally do when playing a round together, go
    ahead. But, I enjoy playing golf, consider myself pretty good at it, so
    don't try to coach me on how to play my shots.'

    With that the guys agreed to relax and invited her to drive first

    All eyes were fastened on her shapely behind as she bent to place her
    ball on the tee. She then took her driver and hit the ball 270 yards
    down the middle, right in front of the green.

    The father's mouth was agape. 'That was beautiful,' he said.

    The blonde put her driver away and said, 'I really didn't get into it,
    and I faded it a little.'

    After the three guys hit their drives and their second shots, the
    blonde took out an eight iron and lofted the ball within five feet of
    the hole (She was closest to the pin.)

    The son said, 'Damn, lady, you played that perfectly..'

    The blonde frowned and said, 'It was a little weak, but even an easy
    seven would have been too much club. I've left a tricky little putt.'
    She then tapped in the five-footer for a birdie.

    Having the honors, she drove first on the second hole, knocked the heck
    out of the ball, and it landed nearly 300 yards away smack in the
    middle of the fairway.

    For the rest of the round the statuesque blonde continued to amaze the
    guys, quietly and methodically shooting for par or less on every hole.

    When they arrived at the 18th green, the blonde was three under par,
    and had a very nasty 12-foot putt on an undulating green for a par.

    She turned to the three guys and said, 'I really want to thank you all
    for not acting like a bunch of chauvinists and telling me what club to
    use or how to play a shot, but I need this putt for a 69 and I'd really
    like to break 70 on this course.

    If any one of you can tell me how to make par on this hole I'll take
    him back to my apartment, pour some 35-year-old Single Malt Strath Mill
    Scotch in him, fix him a steak dinner and then show him a very good
    time the rest of the night.'

    The yuppie son jumped at the thought! He strolled across the green,
    carefully eyeing the line of the putt and finally said, 'Honey, aim
    about 6 inches to the right of the hole and hit it firm. It will get
    over that little hump and break right into the cup.'

    The father knelt down and sighted the putt using his putter as a plumb.
    'Don't listen to the kid, darlin', you want to hit it softly 10 inches
    to the right and let it run left down that little hogback, so it falls
    into the cup.'

    The old gray-haired grandfather walked over to the blonde's ball,
    picked it up and handed it to her and said, 'That's a gimme,

    The blonde smiled and said, 'Your car or mine?'

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