Getting Old!

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Colin, Oct 28, 2009.

  1. Colin
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    Colin Gold Member

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    Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember

    Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
    'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
    'Sure.'
    'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
    'No, I can remember it.'
    'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?'
    He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.. '
    'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
    Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
    Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,
    The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
    'Where's my toast ?'
     
  2. Phoenix
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    Phoenix fideli certa merces

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    :clap2: :lol:
     
  3. Colin
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    Colin Gold Member

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    An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
    The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.'
    The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
    The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
    You know... The one that's red and has thorns.'
    'Do you mean a rose?'
    'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'
     
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  4. MaggieMae
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    MaggieMae Reality bits

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    Funny stuff, always.

    After a very long time in the bathroom before retiring for the night --

    Honey? Did you remember to clean your teeth?

    Yes dear, and while I was there I cleaned yours too.
     
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  5. Terry
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    Terry Shut the $%$ Up!

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    Too cute!!!!!!!
     
  6. Colin
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    Colin Gold Member

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    Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
    A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
    A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
    Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
    The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'
     
  7. Colin
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    Colin Gold Member

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    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNsBc7PBw5E]YouTube - Strip Poker[/ame]​
     
  8. tigerbob
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    tigerbob Increasingly jaded.

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    An elderly man comes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers and stuttering, finally manages to say, "Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem. Can you help me?"

    "Oh, that's not a problem for us men anymore!" announces the proud physician. "They have this new wonder drug, Viagra, that does the trick. You take some pills and your problems are history." So the doctor gives the man a prescription and sends him on his merry way.

    A couple of months later the doctor runs into his patient on the street. "Doctor, doctor," exclaims the man excitedly, "I've got to thank you. This drug is a miracle. It's wonderful."

    "Well, I'm glad to hear that," says the pleased physician. "What does your wife think about it?"

    "Wife?" asks the man, "I haven't been home yet."
     
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