Fifty Shades of Grey: Running commentary

[Blackrook]

The only reason I'm watching this movie is because it's so infamously bad, and I'm curious.

So far they've introduced the major characters with the female interviewing the male for a news article. A rather obvious way to do an info dump and yet wasted because we don't even learn that much.

The female is very cute, but they give her a nasty haircut and bad clothes as an obvious way of making her seem clumsy and stupid, which she appears to be because she actually does a pratfall as she enters his office. To make it clear that she is totally inferior to the male character, he is everything she is not, intelligent, handsome, well dressed, and extremely wealthy.

This is a female fantasy of total male domination, but I'm not judging. Apparently, this is what some women want to see when they go to the movies.

 

[Blackrook]

Now there's a scene where she is working at a hardware store, and this billlionaire character has shown up to personally buy his own bondage supplies like steel ties and duct tape. An incredible coincidence, I know, and the fact that a billionaire does his own shopping at a hardware store means this movie really is for people who don't know much about the reality of what it means to be a billionaire.

 

[mdk]

My advice: Stop Reading Bullshit

 

[Blackrook]

She is the most boring example of a female character I've seen for a long time, she rivals Bella in Twilight for how boring she is, and she's totally passive in her behavior around the male character. She has no hobbies to speak of apparently, and there is absolutely no reason why a billionaire would be at all interested in her. But that's the fantasy, a boring uninteresting female gets the attention of male that is way above her league.

I'm still waiting for the movie to get interesting.

 

[Blackrook]

Now he has saved her life from a bicycle. He says, "I'm not the man for you, I have to let you go." Weird at this point, because so far, they don't even have a relationship.

 

[Blackrook]

The sheer badness of all this can be explained by the fact that it started as fan fiction in the Twilight universe. So far, the plot is exactly the same.

 

[H B Lowrie]

Now he has saved her life from a bicycle. He says, "I'm not the man for you, I have to let you go." Weird at this point, because so far, they don't even have a relationship.

You really need a life don't you darling

 

[Blackrook]

Now he has saved her life from a bicycle. He says, "I'm not the man for you, I have to let you go." Weird at this point, because so far, they don't even have a relationship.

You really need a life don't you darling

Yes, I do. But I only go this forum once every two or three weeks or so, so it's not so bad as all that.

 

[H B Lowrie]

Now he has saved her life from a bicycle. He says, "I'm not the man for you, I have to let you go." Weird at this point, because so far, they don't even have a relationship.

You really need a life don't you darling

Yes, I do. But I only go this forum once every two or three weeks or so, so it's not so bad as all that.

Sure, you are hardly here posting at all love.

 

[Blackrook]

The movie is still very bad, and the only thing that keeps me watching is knowing there's some very naughty sex scenes coming.

 

[Blackrook]

She is drunk, and he saves her from a date rape, once again proving he is superior to her in every way.

 

[Blackrook]

She collapses in his arms, he takes her to a hotel room, undresses her, sleeps in bed with her, but they do NOT have sex, thus establishing that he is not a rapist, at least, but really, not a gentleman either.

 

[Blackrook]

He orders her around, and apparently she's OK with that. He says she should not have gotten drunk, and "if you were mine, you wouldn't be able to sit down for a week."

We are still waiting for the interesting part to start.

 

[aaronleland]

I'll probably jerk off to this thread later.

 

[Kat]

You know the book is always better!

 

[Blackrook]

This is the slowest moving porno I've ever seen.

 

[Blackrook]

"I don't do romance. My tastes are very singular. You wouldn't understand."

How is he going to get this plain vanilla girl to consent to S&M? I guess that' the question we're all asking at this point.

 

[Blackrook]

"I'm not going to touch you. Not until I have your written consent."

"Wha---?"

 

[Blackrook]

"Fuck the paperwork!"

Then he attacks her in the elevator.

So far, just kissing.

 

[Blackrook]

Now he's taking her on a helicopter ride. He doesn't even let her fasten her own seatbelt.