FBI determines sandbags were planted by The Proud Boys, deemed an attempted assassination!

[MarathonMike]

After thorough analysis of the highly suspicious sandbags that took down our President, the FBI leaped into action. After around the clock analysis of the sandbags, they found nazi swastikas inside the bags and a note that read "Ha Ha! Die China Joe! signed The Proud Boys". Given the irrefutable evidence that has since been destroyed for obvious reasons of national security, The FBI is now on a nation-wide round up of every Proud Boy member in America. The only choice is to incarcerate all of them to insure the perpetrators will never again make such an egregious attempt on the life of our illustrious President.

 

[White 6]

After thorough analysis of the highly suspicious sandbags that took down our President, the FBI leaped into action. After around the clock analysis of the sandbags, they found nazi swastikas inside the bags and a note that read "Ha Ha! Die China Joe! signed The Proud Boys". Given the irrefutable evidence that has since been destroyed for obvious reasons of national security, The FBI is now on a nation-wide round up of every Proud Boy member in America. The only choice is to incarcerate all of them to insure the perpetrators will never again make such an egregious attempt on the life of our illustrious President.

Not, bad for an armature, though I was expecting a Babylon Bee article.

 

[wamose]

Totalitarian deep state, out of control.

 

[Pete7469]

The fucked up part is that as absurd as that sounds, it's almost a plausible story.

 

[d0gbreath]

You could write for The Onion.

 

[MarathonMike]

Not, bad for an armature, though I was expecting a Babylon Bee article.

Babylon Bee steals my stuff.

 

[Pete7469]

So if the PB's sandbagged the POTUS, who was doing the T-Bags on Hunter's Lap Top?

 

[two_iron]

Good story.... but you left out an important detail.

According to the stuttering shit clown, the sand was screaming "THIS IS MAGA COUNTRY!!" as he fell on his ass.