Mr. H.
Diamond Member
Five weeks ago, for the very first time since I was very young, over 40 years I am talking.... I got sick!
It was BAD... Fever, chills... fatigue.... I mean really bad. I could get out of bed for 1-2 hours at a time, max. Couldn't eat, couldn't drink anything but water - everything tasted BAD!
It went on for almost a week, then I felt "better" for a day... Thought it was over. But then the real hammer came down, the other shoe dropped... and what I had the first week paled in comparison for what hit me next.
For three more days, I was virtually bedridden.... On the last night of it, I was pretty sure I was going to die.... In fact, convinced of it.
And a calm came over me. I was OKAY with it! I'd preached for 30+ years, "when it's your time, it's your time and no amount of potions, pills, doctors, tests, procedures and the like can do anything to change that." And that is true. But those words came back to me as I lay there, really believing that when I fell asleep, I wasn't going to wake up in the mortal world.... But oddly, there was acceptance, serenity, and no fear at all.
The night was filled with what I understand now were lucid dreams, outright hallucinations, and sweat-soaked bedding. But when my little Newley Boy cat woke me up in daylight loving on my chin and kneading on my chest, it was again another new day! And as I regained self-awareness, I realized I felt good! Whatever it was had run its course and I was okay!
I haven't felt better in years. Only side effect seems to be, I lost 30 pounds I didn't need anyway, in the ordeal. But I gained something too - I know now that I don't fear death. I know now that I live by my principles right or wrong, weak or strong, live or die, with no regrets.
I feel liberated now, like never before. I have shed my mortal coil so to speak....
Geez, reading this reminds me of a bad acid trip back in college days.
Anyhow- I've had visions and dreams of the afterlife, and even a near death experience. It's cool.
No worries.
Except maybe for the steps out back that the wife has been after me to repair. Ain't gonna do it no matter how long I live.