President Obama was in the Oval Office when his phone rang. "Hello, President Obama," a heavily accented Norwegian voice said. "This is Ole, down here at the Uff Da Mart in Westby, Wisconsin. I am callin' to tell ya that we are officially declaring war on ya!" "Well, Ole," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?" "Right now," said Ole, after a moment's calculation, "There is myself, my cousin Hans, my next-door-neighbor Sven, and the whole crew from Borgen's Cafe. That makes about 30." Barack paused, "I must tell you Ole, I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command." "Wow," said Ole. "I'll have ta call ya back!" Sure enough, the next day, Ole called again. "Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!" "And what equipment would that be, Ole?" Barack asked. "Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Hans's farm tractor." President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Ole, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke." "Lord above," said Ole. "I'll be getting back to ya." Sure enough, Ole rang again the next day. "President Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harold's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the vanilla church have joined us as well!" Obama was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Ole, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!" "Oh Lord," said Ole, "l'll have to call you back." Sure enough, Ole called again the next day. "President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war." "I'm sorry to hear that," said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?" Well, sir," said Ole, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a few beers, and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed two million prisoners." <><><> On Wisconsin.... Oh yah dere hey!