Consumerism: A Clown-Dreaded Tale!

Abishai100

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Sep 22, 2013
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I wonder what kind of pedestrian terrorism-folklore our consumerism-culture (i.e., TrumpUSA) will generate.

This little media-terror tale I cooked up was inspired by the press-paranoia films Natural Born Killers, 15 Minutes, and The Dead Pool.

Who says consumerism detective-work can't be fun (and serious simultaneously!)?



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Tom and Ajay were respected actors (one in Hollywood, the other on Broadway). They were assigned (by the FBI) to work undercover during the filming of a Stephen King film-adaptation remake of the horror-novel It. The reason Tom and Ajay were given the conspicuous assignment was that the director of the remake received an ominous letter:

"To the Director --

It pleases me you're making a film about King's demonic clown Pennywise, because I want you to know I intend to dress up as a clown this Halloween and go one a killing spree in Washington, D.C. in honor of Pennywise (and your highly-anticipated remake!). I look forward to...running into you someday."


Tom and Ajay were to walk around D.C. that Halloween pretending to be PR reps for the remake while cops monitored them from afar in the hopes that the anonymous intended 'Pennywise copycat' would show up and approach them, since they were theatre-figures! The plan was going fine, and Tom and Ajay were walking around basically looking very much like PR reps for the remake when suddenly a man dressed as a clown started walking towards them (but crying profusely!).

The cops monitoring the entire 'scene' readied their guns to see who this mysterious 'crying clown' was and what his intentions exactly were. Tom and Ajay were armed with pistols (for self-defense), but the cops were close at-hand, ready to intercede in case anything undesirable happened. The crying clown walked up to Tom and Ajay and said, "Oh goodness! It distresses me that so few people in America are truly interested in this Stephen King remake. We clown aficionados (former circus-employees) are greatly grieved!"

Tom and Ajay immediately thought the crying clown was the Pennywise copycat the cops were hunting. As they began to pull out their guns, the crying clown popped two of his balloons which released a tear gas which sent Tom and Ajay reeling and causing them to kneel towards the ground. The mysterious crying clown dropped another gas-grenade and created a thick cloud of smoke, sufficient to enable him to disappear before the watching cops could get to him.

The mysterious crying clown was never caught, and the mysterious Pennywise copycat who stated he would go on a D.C. Halloween killing-spree never showed or carried out his acts. The police naturally assumed the gas-grenade crying clown was in fact the Pennywise copycat they were chasing. Tom and Ajay were given special municipal medals of recognition for their heroic citizenry-work, and all seemed to return to normal, as the cops continued their tedious tracking of the crying clown with the gas-grenades who approached the two thespians on the streets of D.C. that Halloween Eve.

Three months later, Tom and Ajay received anonymous child-like clown-doodles with the title "Satan the Clown." They immediately turned the drawings over to the police who then sent it to the FBI. There was now a national manhunt for the Pennywise copycat (assumed to be the 'artist' of the clown-doodles sent to Tom and Ajay and the same crying clown with the gas-grenades on Halloween). As the FBI continued their search for this elusive mischievous clown, the Stephen King remake continued to be made, and as it neared completion, there was an explosion at a D.C. Starbucks coffee shop at 4 am on Christmas (no employees/customers were inside the store). The terrorist left a note by the scene which read, "Clowns are never consumers!"

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team1.jpg


clowns1.jpg
 
We got killer clowns runnin' around the trailer park...

... I know, `cause the little girls next door told me dey saw one.
 

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