Chinese Parenting Tips

[chanel]

Despite our squeamishness about cultural stereotypes, there are tons of studies out there showing marked and quantifiable differences between Chinese and Westerners when it comes to parenting. In one study of 50 Western American mothers and 48 Chinese immigrant mothers, almost 70% of the Western mothers said either that "stressing academic success is not good for children" or that "parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun." By contrast, roughly 0% of the Chinese mothers felt the same way

Chinese parents can order their kids to get straight As. Western parents can only ask their kids to try their best. Chinese parents demand perfect grades because they believe that their child can get them. If their child doesn't get them, the Chinese parent assumes it's because the child didn't work hard enough

Second, Chinese parents believe that their kids owe them everything...the understanding is that Chinese children must spend their lives repaying their parents by obeying them and making them proud.

Third, Chinese parents believe that they know what is best for their children and therefore override all of their children's own desires and preferences.

Western parents try to respect their children's individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment. By contrast, the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they're capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits and inner confidence that no one can ever take away.

Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior - WSJ.com

Fascinating.

Comments?

 

[RadiomanATL]

I like their fire drills.

 

[strollingbones]

factor in the suicide rates of chinese kids who are pressured from jump to be the best ... these kids are driven from early childhood

 

[editec]

Is it true that when Chinese children are berated by their chinese parents to do better in school, an hour after they need to be berated again?

 

[chanel]

I don't know and I"ll have to check out the suicide rates. But it certainly makes sense as to why so many are successful.

I regret not pushing my kids harder in school. They are smart kids and got ok grades but being on the honor roll was never a goal. I blame myself.

 

[strollingbones]

o drop the fucking guilt bag there chanel.....my son managed to go from being ask not to come back to one university to honor roll at another....i had nothing to do with his partying at the first school nor his studying at the next one...

there are a lot of chinese who arent a bag of chips and more....

stop blaming yourself.

 

[editec]

One thing I have to give credit to the Chinese culture for is this...teaching people to be SAVERS.

Yet another noteworthy aspect of China's economy is its high saving rate. China has had by far the highest overall saving rate in the world since at least 2000, and the saving rate has increased even further since 2000--to nearly 50% of GDP. Gross capital formation ([COLOR=#336699 !important][COLOR=#336699 !important]investment[/COLOR][/COLOR]) is also high in China, but because saving exceeds investment, China has been running a net saving surplus, which translates into a current account surplus, and that surplus has been growing sharply--from 1.9% of GDP in 2000 to 3.6% in 2004 and a remarkable 7.2% in 2005--even though China is investing at a staggering rate of 43-46% of GDP and even though China is still relatively poor. This has made China one of the world's largest capital exporters and has exacerbated trade frictions with the United States and other countries. Moreover, China's net saving surplus shows no signs of abating (The Economist, September 24-30, 2005, "A Survey of the World Economy," page 13).

source

 

[Sunni Man]

This isn't a one way street when it comes to Asian parents.

They sacrifice everything for their children to receive the best education possible.

Asian parents will move into an area that is way above their income and rent a crummy house.

Just so that their kids can attend the best schools from kindergarten on.


Some times on my way to work I drive by two of the top schools in the nation.

Believe me, every other students face I see is an Asian kid with a huge back pack full of books.

 

[Mad Scientist]

This isn't a one way street when it comes to Asian parents.

They sacrifice everything for their children to receive the best education possible.

Asian parents will move into an area that is way above their income and rent a crummy house.

Just so that their kids can attend the best schools from kindergarten on.


Some times on my way to work I drive by two of the top schools in the nation.

Believe me, every other students face I see is an Asian kid with a huge back pack full of books.

Some cultures value family and education. Others don't.

In Japan they're called "Kyoiku Mama" or education crazy for pushing their kids so hard. The reason being is that kids compete to enter the best Jr. High and High Schools which weigh heavily on what Universities they can attend. Grades actually matter less than what school they attended.

In Japan, it's hard to get into a school but once they're in, it's hard to fail. Whereas in America, it's easy to get into a University but hard to graduate.

But after all is said and done, It's my opinion that the Japanese are the "Worlds Best Educated Stupid People". (Calm down people, my wife's Japanese but very Americanized) Because even after all that education they still fear the unknown and will gravitate towards their own kind.

 

[PoliticalChic]

Chanel, I wasn't aware of this article until now. I finished reading it and found it fascinating. We are raising our children in a similar fashion and I agree that Westerners, in general, are too concerned with their children's self-esteem.

I think Amy Chua encapsulates brilliantly the Chinese philosophy here:

"But if done properly, the Chinese strategy produces a virtuous circle. Tenacious practice, practice, practice is crucial for excellence; rote repetition is underrated in America. Once a child starts to excel at something—whether it's math, piano, pitching or ballet—he or she gets praise, admiration and satisfaction. This builds confidence and makes the once not-fun activity fun. This in turn makes it easier for the parent to get the child to work even more."

Thanks for posting the article! Loved it.

 

[chanel]

Interesting. I did see a video in grad school where they interviewed high school students in Japan and the US. All the Japanese kids could recite the Constitution, but none of them really knew what it meant. Conversely, none of the American kids could recite it, but they all knew what was in it. But they also asked some kids about low math grades and the Japanese kids said they didn't work hard enough and the US kids just said that they just wasn't their strength. I do think we often give kids a pass when it comes to laziness in subjects they don't enjoy.