Census Questions Revealed!!

[Zander]

This just killed me!!

The Census is coming out soon. We all should have gotten a letter telling us to expect the Census in a week (you don’t ever want to surprise someone with a Census letter!). As always, all the kooks are worried about the government collecting all this information as an invasion of privacy, but I’ve seen the questions on it, and it’s all pretty boilerplate.

CENSUS QUESTIONS

“How many people are in your household? (NOTE: For purposes of allotting federal funds, whites count as three-fifths of a person)”

“Does any member of your household suffer from mental illness, had a recent psychological break, or listen to Glenn Beck?”

“If the feds were to storm your home, from which entrance are you most vulnerable?”

“Do you approve of President Obama? If not, how long have you been a member of the Klan?”

“Do you find Obama to be presidential? What if he wore an important-looking hat?”

“What’s your deepest, darkest fear?”

“How many guns do you have, where do you keep them, and what times are you most likely to not be home?”

“Are you a member of the Tea Party? Follow Up Question: Would you be less alarmed about being rounded up and sent to a camp if you were told the camp had canoeing and wallet-making?”

“Are you for health care reform? What if Rahm Emmanuel poked you while you were naked?”