Benghazi 9-11: Where Was Barack?

Discussion in 'Political Satire' started by MarathonMike, Sep 9, 2018.

  1. MarathonMike
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    MarathonMike Platinum Member

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    "Mr President Mr President you are needed in the Situation Room! There is an active attack on the Consulate!"

    "Wha da Fu? Hold up a second. Hey Rev it's your lucky day. Hit this I gotta do some President shit. Now what's up?"

    "The Benghazi Consulate is under attack. We have the live feed sir! They have no security protection!"

    "Well who da fuck left them without security?"

    "Uh well you did sir."

    "Oh so your blaming me? I see how it is. It's because I'm Black, isn't it?"

    "Mr President we need you here. You are the Commander In Chief"

    "Commander Shmander that's just a title we all know that. Y'all don't need me. I don't know no Rambo shit, I give speeches and look good on camera. Aw yeah!."

    "Sir we need your orders on the military response."

    "Hmmmm uh have what's his name Pinata send CNN an email"

    "Sir not that kind of response. We need a rescue team, scramble jets, soldiers. Like that!"

    "Nah nah I don't like that. We might accidentally kill some Libyans and that would make me look bad. You know the Arab Spring and shit...."

    "Sir what are your orders?"

    "Damn you a pushy cracker. You want my orders? I say Let the military guys and Penito make the call."

    "Mr President are you officially deferring to the second in command?"

    "Yeah whatever, look me and the Rev got some important shit to do. Remember The Las Vegas Fundraiser? Hello? Beyonce? Jay-z? You know what I'm sayin?"
     
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  2. mamooth
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    mamooth Gold Member Supporting Member

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    Moral of the thread:

    Conservatives should never attempt sarcasm.

    To be funny, sarcasm has to closely match the real world. Conservatives are off in their own reality, so their sarcasm fails hard, and normal people just cringe in sympathetic embarrassment. They understand it, in the same way they understand a four-year-old telling toilet jokes. They just find it hard to believe that a grownup would consider it to be a kneeslapper.
     
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