Benefits of Being Female

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Annie, Jul 3, 2004.

  1. Annie
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    Annie Diamond Member

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    My daughter sent this to me from college, yeah there is some things I'd like to think she doesn't know about ;) but she is going on 23 and paying for school herself, since the beginning, so what the heck. There is something to this that reminds me of Dan's polls :p:

    Benefits of Being Female

    * We got off the Titanic first.
    * We can scare male bosses with mysterious
    gynecological disorder excuses.
    * When we buy a vibrator, it's sexy. When men buy a
    blow-up doll, it's pathetic.
    * Our boyfriends' clothes look elfin and gorgeous on
    us -- guys look like complete idiots in ours.
    * We can be groupies.
    * Male groupies are stalkers.
    * We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the
    central figure in a computer game.
    * Taxis stop for us.
    * Men die sooner, so we get to cash in on the life
    insurance.
    * We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

    * Free drinks.
    * Free dinners.
    * We can hug our friends without wondering if they
    think we're gay.
    * We know the truth about whether size matters.
    * New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
    * Condoms make no significant difference in our
    enjoyment of sex.
    * It's possible to live our whole lives without ever
    taking a group shower.
    * No fashion faux pas we make could rival the
    Speedo.
    * We don't fart to amuse ourselves.
    * If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
    * We can congratulate our teammate without ever
    touching her ass.
    * If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
    * We never have to reach down every so often to make
    sure our privates are still there.
    * We have the ability to dress ourselves.
    * We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to
    fit in.
    * We have an excuse to be totally cranky at least once
    a month.
    * We can talk to people of the opposite sex without
    automatically picturing them naked.
    * If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware
    that we look like an idiot.
    * Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask
    whether there's spinach in our teeth.
    * There are times when chocolate really can solve all
    our problems.
    * Gay waiters don't make us uncomfortable.
    * We'll never regret piercing our ears.
    * We can fully assess a person just by looking at
    their shoes.
    * We'll never discover we've been duped by a
    Wonderbra.
     
  2. UsaPride
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    UsaPride Senior Member

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    :clap: :D :clap:
     
  3. Annie
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    Annie Diamond Member

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    It's a bit disconcerting that she sent it to me, but she has always been like that. I have no idea why she would think that I would find that funny. :p:
     
  4. Sandy73
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    Sandy73 Guest

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    :laugh: :rotflmao: :thup:
     
  5. UsaPride
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    UsaPride Senior Member

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    Come on, Kathianne. At 23, you're lucky you got the PG rated email, ROTFL!! Just kidding. :p:
     
  6. Annie
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    Annie Diamond Member

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    Condems? Vibrators? Shi*! LOL She shares an apartment with her boyfriend, Oh I love that! But it's for convenience, ya know? He makes more money, ya know....

    Like I said, she is totally self-supporting, except for car insurance. I guess I don't have room to complain. Besides that, ;) her boyfriend won't get engaged until he finishes his MS degree, on scholarship and has downpayment for a house. I like that boy! :D
     
  7. janeeng
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    janeeng Guest

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    You should count all of that as blessings! and, I am sure you do - now come on Kathianne, I am sure you just LOVED getting this from you Daughter, or maybe it's YOU that sent it!!! hahahah!!!!!

    It sounds to me like you raised your Daughter VERY WELL!!!!!

    BTW - forgot, that was awesome! and yes, some have a REAL WAY of stopping CABBIES - hint hint!!!! :D
     
  8. Annie
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    Annie Diamond Member

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    Hey Janeen, did the best I could and I'm proud of all 3 kids. They are responsible, even when they make mistakes, which don't we all.

    LOL on her sending this. Dam* I wouldn't to my mom, though she probably would have gotten a chuckle or three. I was raised pretty strictly, but in my Freshman year at college my roomate hung a very cool hottie from Playmate, using a construction paper cover to be lifted if you catch my drift. Mind you, this is 1973. My mom comes to our room for parent's weekend. Sees the poster, lifts the figleaf and says, "Seen one, seen them all!" Times were different, but the 5 of us co-eds and 3 other parents just looked at her, with our mouths agape! She was something!
     
  9. janeeng
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    janeeng Guest

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    haha! that's a pretty funny story!

    You have 3 kids? I am sure you have done great with all of them. They have a good Mom!! this we can all clearly see here!
     
  10. Annie
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    Annie Diamond Member

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    Thanks, all parents are proud! We do our best and the rest is up to them, in spite of our flaws! :p:
     

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