ATTN: SHOPPERS
This announcement is in response to recent events involving shutting down a Christian
Bakery business for declining to deliver a cake to a Gay Wedding:
http://www.usmessageboard.com/curre...der-for-gay-wedding-forced-to-close-shop.html
In particular, we would like to address all
Gay Couples, Pro-Gay, or Pro-Gay Marriage advocates
looking to harass, boycott or shut down, and blame Christian Bakeries who
refuse to do business that would require them to attend gay marriages
against their religious beliefs.
We, the Bigots at Bigotry Bakery, want to make amends
for all the people offended by such Christian Bakeries that, by
conscience and/or calling by God, feel compelled not to conduct business that
violates their religious beliefs. We understand this is not
the fault of either Bigoted Bakers or Gay, Pro-Gay or Pro-Gay Marriage
believers, that these different beliefs are best kept separated from each other.
We believe in equal inclusion of all religious and political beliefs
under the First and Fourteenth Amendments to the U.S. Constitution,
including the right to be an absolute Bigot while bullying and boycotting other Bigots.
You are all included under the universal label of Bigot, so please do not feel left out
if you are not mentioned by name!
We understand that all these groups come across equally as
Bigots to people of the other groups. Where the refusal to do business comes across as Bigoted as is the response to such Bigotry using Boycotts, harassment
and threats against Bigoted businesses
(and Bigoted customers of Bigoted businesses).
We HATE to see this happen, when we're all in the same boat.
Can't we all get along as equal Bigots?
To remedy the situation of mutual Bigotry,
we resolve to raise donations of cakes, resources, volunteers and capital
to support all participating Bakeries to give away FREE GAY CAKES
to anyone who requests. You do not need to be gay to apply.
You can be Klan, Westboro Baptist, an Obama Voter,
a Zimmerman sympathizer or Trayvon Martin-hater,
and still apply (and wait in line) for your FREE GAY CAKE.
Since we are lifting all restrictions in applying for a FREE GAY CAKE,
we assume the waiting list will be long, and will take a while to
fund or fulfill all those requests by matching them with donors or sponsors.
We appreciate your patience while you wait for your
FREE GAY CAKE or your universal health care, whichever gets financed first.
All that is required is to post your request publicly, asking for your FREE GAY CAKE,
so that all Christians may pray for your spiritual healing.
(Just in case you are not really gay, but unnaturally gay,
where healing prayer can help make you ungay. If not, the spiritual healing prayer
will not hurt; you will remain gay but be spiritually healed and even more gay than before!)
And when you come to the nearest participating Bigotry Bakery
to pick up your FREE GAY CAKE or to have it delivered,
you may choose from one of the options that come with your FREE GAY CAKE:
A. Free spiritual healing prayer to remove any unnatural source of gayness
from your relationships. Of course, we recommend this before you get married,
just in case you are in an unnatural relationship and ought to marry someone else instead.
This will save on divorce or custody costs, as a special bonus gift to you!
B. A Free book on healing homosexuality in cases where gayness is
unnatural, such as the result of abuse that can be healed
along with the unnatural gayness.
So if you aren't ready to receive full spiritual healing prayer with your visit,
you can opt out to receive literature that explains the difference between
cases of unnatural homosexuality, such as caused by abuse, that can actually be healed.
This is a required free bonus gift to go with your FREE GAY CAKE.
C. Free Gay Cake Flambe
where if you decline A and B and prefer the
"Hellfire and Brimstone" sermon to go with your FREE GAY CAKE
you are welcome to invite a volunteer Bigot to come preach
at your wedding against gays and gay marriage as part of your delivery service.
Warning: Because these FREE GAY CAKES under this option C
are served in a flaming liquid representing the infernal "Lake of Fire"
for adulterers and fornicators, we do not recommend this option.
Unless you have a dark sense of humor, and really want such
a display at your wedding to make a political statement.
If so, please alert your guests in advance that you are doing this
as a joke, so they can laugh at all the Preachers who really believe
all gays are going to hell.
We will make every effort to match your request to an appropriate
Baker and Bigot to deliver the cake and sermon at your wedding.
This is a new business venture in response to recent events.
So please be patient while an online Bigotry network is set up,
for all Bigoted Christian or anti-gay businesses and their
Bigoted supporters to meet the anticipated demand for FREE GAY CAKES.
We look forward to providing charity to you,
in place of doing business where religious beliefs do not allow.
Thank you for understanding
that the Bigotry is mutual.
More updates will be posted later for seeking
requests and applications for FREE GAY CAKES!
This announcement is in response to recent events involving shutting down a Christian
Bakery business for declining to deliver a cake to a Gay Wedding:
http://www.usmessageboard.com/curre...der-for-gay-wedding-forced-to-close-shop.html
In particular, we would like to address all
Gay Couples, Pro-Gay, or Pro-Gay Marriage advocates
looking to harass, boycott or shut down, and blame Christian Bakeries who
refuse to do business that would require them to attend gay marriages
against their religious beliefs.
We, the Bigots at Bigotry Bakery, want to make amends
for all the people offended by such Christian Bakeries that, by
conscience and/or calling by God, feel compelled not to conduct business that
violates their religious beliefs. We understand this is not
the fault of either Bigoted Bakers or Gay, Pro-Gay or Pro-Gay Marriage
believers, that these different beliefs are best kept separated from each other.
We believe in equal inclusion of all religious and political beliefs
under the First and Fourteenth Amendments to the U.S. Constitution,
including the right to be an absolute Bigot while bullying and boycotting other Bigots.
You are all included under the universal label of Bigot, so please do not feel left out
if you are not mentioned by name!
We understand that all these groups come across equally as
Bigots to people of the other groups. Where the refusal to do business comes across as Bigoted as is the response to such Bigotry using Boycotts, harassment
and threats against Bigoted businesses
(and Bigoted customers of Bigoted businesses).
We HATE to see this happen, when we're all in the same boat.
Can't we all get along as equal Bigots?
To remedy the situation of mutual Bigotry,
we resolve to raise donations of cakes, resources, volunteers and capital
to support all participating Bakeries to give away FREE GAY CAKES
to anyone who requests. You do not need to be gay to apply.
You can be Klan, Westboro Baptist, an Obama Voter,
a Zimmerman sympathizer or Trayvon Martin-hater,
and still apply (and wait in line) for your FREE GAY CAKE.
Since we are lifting all restrictions in applying for a FREE GAY CAKE,
we assume the waiting list will be long, and will take a while to
fund or fulfill all those requests by matching them with donors or sponsors.
We appreciate your patience while you wait for your
FREE GAY CAKE or your universal health care, whichever gets financed first.
All that is required is to post your request publicly, asking for your FREE GAY CAKE,
so that all Christians may pray for your spiritual healing.
(Just in case you are not really gay, but unnaturally gay,
where healing prayer can help make you ungay. If not, the spiritual healing prayer
will not hurt; you will remain gay but be spiritually healed and even more gay than before!)
And when you come to the nearest participating Bigotry Bakery
to pick up your FREE GAY CAKE or to have it delivered,
you may choose from one of the options that come with your FREE GAY CAKE:
A. Free spiritual healing prayer to remove any unnatural source of gayness
from your relationships. Of course, we recommend this before you get married,
just in case you are in an unnatural relationship and ought to marry someone else instead.
This will save on divorce or custody costs, as a special bonus gift to you!
B. A Free book on healing homosexuality in cases where gayness is
unnatural, such as the result of abuse that can be healed
along with the unnatural gayness.
So if you aren't ready to receive full spiritual healing prayer with your visit,
you can opt out to receive literature that explains the difference between
cases of unnatural homosexuality, such as caused by abuse, that can actually be healed.
This is a required free bonus gift to go with your FREE GAY CAKE.
C. Free Gay Cake Flambe
where if you decline A and B and prefer the
"Hellfire and Brimstone" sermon to go with your FREE GAY CAKE
you are welcome to invite a volunteer Bigot to come preach
at your wedding against gays and gay marriage as part of your delivery service.
Warning: Because these FREE GAY CAKES under this option C
are served in a flaming liquid representing the infernal "Lake of Fire"
for adulterers and fornicators, we do not recommend this option.
Unless you have a dark sense of humor, and really want such
a display at your wedding to make a political statement.
If so, please alert your guests in advance that you are doing this
as a joke, so they can laugh at all the Preachers who really believe
all gays are going to hell.
We will make every effort to match your request to an appropriate
Baker and Bigot to deliver the cake and sermon at your wedding.
This is a new business venture in response to recent events.
So please be patient while an online Bigotry network is set up,
for all Bigoted Christian or anti-gay businesses and their
Bigoted supporters to meet the anticipated demand for FREE GAY CAKES.
We look forward to providing charity to you,
in place of doing business where religious beliefs do not allow.
Thank you for understanding
that the Bigotry is mutual.
More updates will be posted later for seeking
requests and applications for FREE GAY CAKES!
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