Attn conservatives - freedom is at stake now

Discussion in 'Politics' started by SpidermanTuba, Jan 14, 2010.

  1. SpidermanTuba
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    SpidermanTuba BANNED

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    ATTN FREEDOM LOVERS:

    In a new Presidential release here:

    http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/new-world-order-utopia-report

    the details of the new world order are revealed.

    Beginning February 3rd, the following new rules for your protection will be put in place by Presidential decree:


    1) You will surrender all firearms to your local police department. This includes black powder, antiques (functioning or not), fireworks, model rockets, and emergency flares.

    2) All private and charter schools will be closed, and the students put into their local public school. This includes home schooled children. Any parent stopping their children from attending the public school will be jailed.

    3) Religious practice outside of a private home will be banned. Religious practice inside a home with more than 2 participants who are not immediate family relatives of the head of household will be banned. Christmas will no longer be a national holiday, instead, December 27th will be a national holiday called "Multicultural Secular Winter Holiday"

    4) All adults over the age of 18 will be required to report to their local Post Office within 3 weeks to be organized into work units. These work units will be used to
    a) restore national pride
    b) restore national beauty
    c) restore national health

    5) Those unwilling to form into work units will be placed into reeducation camps for the benefit of society.












    Now that Obama is about to realize his Final Plan - and very soon I might add, I have a question for conservatives.

    Will you take up your guns and fight to the death, or will you run to the nearest industrialized nation (which probably has public health care) like pussies?
     
  2. Sidestreamer
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    Sidestreamer BANNED

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    ... this attempt at satire just doesn't work.
     
  3. Dante
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    Dante On leave Supporting Member

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    I say they call the ACLU. Hey, it worked for Rush.

    :rofl:
     
  4. Father Time
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    Father Time I'll be Still Alive

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    Hey you just might be on something!

    My guess is weed.
     
  5. dec8ur
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    dec8ur Rookie

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    just wanted to point out that christmas was never a national holiday for two reasons. A) christmas being a religious holiday could not be officially recognized as a national holiday because of that pesky first amendment and B) there are no national holidays because there is no mention of that power in the constitution, just federal holidays which gives government employees vacations, which state governments and alot of businesses honor for their own workers
     
  6. SpidermanTuba
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    SpidermanTuba BANNED

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    Anyone who works a job that isn't emergency related and is forced to come in Christmas Day should quit.
     
  7. dec8ur
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    dec8ur Rookie

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    easier said than done. alot of restaurants and service stations stay open on christmas day, not to mention movie theaters theme parks etc. everybody cant quit
     
  8. xsited1
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    xsited1 Agent P

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    If I marry a black woman with a negro dialect, will I be exempt from this Presidential decree?
     
  9. SpidermanTuba
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    SpidermanTuba BANNED

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    Anyone who goes out to eat on Christmas Day is a loser and anyone who doesn't tank up the day before is a bad planner.


    Movie theaters? Is that what the baby Jesus did on the first Christmas Day? Because I sure as fuck don't see why movie theaters are a necessity for enjoying Christmas, unless you hate your family.
     
  10. PatekPhilippe
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    PatekPhilippe Senior Member

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    Be careful!!!!!
    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9K47vh2_J0&feature=related"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9K47vh2_J0&feature=related[/ame]
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1

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