Areleh Harel: The Orthodox Rabbi Helping Gay Men to Marry Lesbians

Discussion in 'Religion and Ethics' started by High_Gravity, Aug 17, 2011.

  1. High_Gravity
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    Areleh Harel: The Orthodox Rabbi Helping Gay Men to Marry Lesbians

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    Read more: Areleh Harel: The Orthodox Rabbi Helping Gay Men to Marry Lesbians - TIME
     
  2. catzmeow
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    I don't think that gay people stop being gay people just because they marry someone of the opposite sex. But, if this rabbi is able to help people live full, complete, and happy lives, then more power to him. In my ideal world, gay marriage between two consenting adults would be recognized as legitimate by everyone. But until we get there, baby steps. Whatever increases the happiness of people who suffer a lot is a bonus.
     
  3. Truthmatters
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    there are many more gay men than lesians in the world
     
  4. High_Gravity
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    How could you possibly know that?
     
  5. Sky Dancer
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    I wonder if a gay man marrying a lesbian in a Christian marriage ceremony would satisfy the Christians?

    Maybe all they want us to do is go back in the closet and pretend.t

    This has already been tried, and it failed miserably. But I think Christians were happier with this kind of delusion.

    Point of fact, my wife and I married the same man. We remained close, like family until he died.
     
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  6. catzmeow
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    I think that you're talking about two separate concepts. One concept is an openly gay man marrying an openly lesbian woman, knowing that they are not going to change their basic nature, but the two teaming up, in essence, to participate in creating a family. This isn't that different from hetero couples who are essentially platonic, but who have relatively happy marriages and families. Nobody is suggesting that the gay man or lesbian convert to play for the other team. This is just a way of creating an oasis of love in a hostile environment.

    The other is a sort of Christian marriage many of us are familiar with, where a closeted gay man or lesbian marries a hetero person, without telling the person who they really are, and lives their lives in the closet, either forever, or until they become so miserable they can't stand it anymore and leave. I don't think that's a good scenario.

    On the other hand, who am I to tell a gay person how he/she should live her life and marry? If a gay person wants to pretend to be hetero, marry and have a hetero life, and as long as that person behaves ethically toward his/her hetero spouse, and both people are as happy as the average couple, who am I to judge?

    I don't think there is one right way to be gay. Do you?
     
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  7. Sky Dancer
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    I think this kind of marriage may work for some people. In the case of my wife and I, we certainly were family with T, his mother, his sisters, and his partner.

    Unusual family relations have been the norm for me. I spent my high school years living with my father and his partner in an apartment behind their beauty shop. Neither of them was monogamous, or "out" as gay men. They'd both been married and had children. They "pretended" to be heterosexual, they both dated women.

    The household was full of colorful characters in my teenage years. My father's partner was more of a real dad to me than my father was.

    If people focused more on what creates love in a family, and less on what people do in bed in the privacy of their homes there would be far less strife over this issue of equality in marriage than there is.
     
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    What makes a family is love and commitment. That's basically all it requires.
     

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