Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Johnney, Oct 24, 2004.

  1. Johnney
    Offline

    Johnney Senior Member

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2003
    Messages:
    4,330
    Thanks Received:
    141
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    IOWA
    Ratings:
    +141
    Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican? With elections
    coming up, we should all decide. Here is a little test that will help
    you decide.

    Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats,
    Republicans, and Southern Republicans? The answer can be found by posing the following question:

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
    children.
    Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the
    corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife,
    and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    Democrat's Answer:
    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the
    man look poor or oppressed?
    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
    Could we run away?
    What does my wife think?
    What about the kids?
    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
    his hand?
    What does the law say about this situation?
    Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
    this send to society and to my children?
    Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to
    wound me?
    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away
    while he was stabbing me?
    Should I call 9-1-1?
    Why is this street so deserted?
    We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a
    happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
    This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for
    a few days and try to come to a consensus.

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    Republican's Answer:

    BANG!

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    Southern Republican's Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

    click.....(sounds of reloading)...

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

    Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy!
    Were those the Winchester Silver Tips??"
     
  2. NATO AIR
    Offline

    NATO AIR Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2004
    Messages:
    4,275
    Thanks Received:
    282
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    USS Abraham Lincoln
    Ratings:
    +282
    :happy2: gotta love self-defense and the right to bear arms
     
  3. UsaPride
    Offline

    UsaPride Senior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2004
    Messages:
    3,939
    Thanks Received:
    198
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    NC
    Ratings:
    +198
    Definately a Southern Republican!! :firing: :halo:
     
  4. Shattered
    Online

    Shattered Guest

    Ratings:
    +0
    I'm a conservative republican - one shot = dead. No sense wasting additional bullets. :)
     
  5. UsaPride
    Offline

    UsaPride Senior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2004
    Messages:
    3,939
    Thanks Received:
    198
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    NC
    Ratings:
    +198
    Good point. I guess I've watched to many horror movies where he would grab my ankle when I walked by. LOL!! Gotta make sure anyone that's about to attack my kids is not getting back up!!
     
  6. Mr. P
    Offline

    Mr. P Senior Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2004
    Messages:
    11,329
    Thanks Received:
    618
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    South of the Mason Dixon
    Ratings:
    +620
    Yer jus makin fun o me cuz I like ta shoot!
    Well boy, shoot er onest and ya gots ta clean er..
    Mit as well make er fun!

    Oh an a one mur thang...I woodent waste a silver tip on scum.
     
  7. Merlin1047
    Offline

    Merlin1047 Senior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2004
    Messages:
    3,500
    Thanks Received:
    449
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    AL
    Ratings:
    +450
    Funny P. But y'all's southuhn accaint sucks. Ya heah?
     

Share This Page