An atheist in the woods

Discussion in 'Humor' started by manifold, Mar 6, 2008.

  1. manifold
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    manifold Diamond Member

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    An atheist was walking through the woods.

    "What majestic trees"!

    "What powerful rivers"!

    "What beautiful animals"!

    He said to himself.

    As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.

    He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right On top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"

    Time Stopped.
    The bear froze.
    The forest was still.

    As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident." "Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer"?

    The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps You could make the BEAR a Christian"?

    "Very Well," said the Voice.

    The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

    "Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."
     
  2. Diuretic
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    Diuretic Permanently confused

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    Would you like me to write an atheist version?

    Damn, no wait, I forgot

    Atheists, by definition, aren't religious bigots.

    Grooowwwwwl :rofl:
     
  3. manifold
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    manifold Diamond Member

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    Actually, quite a few of them are.
     
  4. Superlative
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    Superlative Senior Member

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    So you keep saying.
     
  5. Shogun
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    Shogun Free: Mudholes Stomped

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    that's a joke Elisha would have enjoyed while applying the scalp wax.


    Too bad there were no kids involved to be butchered by a roving band of she-bears, eh?
     
  6. manifold
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    manifold Diamond Member

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    Keep?

    That's a bit of a stretch since this was the first time I posted anything of the sort. And then it merely gave me an idea for another thread. So in your view, commenting on an observation twice constitutes "keep saying."

    Duly noted.
     

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