An American Gender Detour

[Abishai100]

I love general American storytelling about gender-related monkey-wrenches. Ya know, such 'talk' is scandalous in free-speech limited nations such as Iran and Cuba. That's what I'll be toasting this Thanksgiving, so let's all hope for the best (i.e., no major terrorism act between March and November 2017).

Don't you love politics-optimistic comic books? One of my favorites is G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero (Marvel Comics).


====

Snake-Eyes and Lady Jaye were best friends and 'team-mates' on the patriotic crusading American paramilitary organization known as 'G.I. Joes.' They were in charge of (among other things) the distribution of G.I. Joe action-figure iconography trading-cards, which had become new age 'Uncle Sam' postcard symbols of American values. Snake-Eyes and Lady Jaye believed there should be trading-cards made of the figures comprising the enemy-team of the G.I. Joes, the international terrorist organization known as 'Cobra.' However, Duke (the leader of the G.I. Joes) believed distributing images of Cobra figures would be dangerous.

Snake-Eyes and Lady Jaye were given a minor crime-detective assignment in Moscow, involving a serial killer known as the 'Night-Slasher' who was stalking Russian prostitutes. This serial killer sent a notice to the Moscow Gazette, which read, "Russian women are liberally registering themselves on American online mail-order-bride sites, so I declare that Moscow's traffic woes are simply that --- Moscow's! We raise our own women...and we KILL our own women!" The Night-Slasher was responsible for a total of 20 murders (all prostitutes), and the deaths occurred by strangulation, throat-cutting, gun-shots to the head (silencer-pistol), and poisoning.

Snake-Eyes and Lady Jaye staked out Moscow at night for a full month before spotting the ski-mask wearing Night-Slasher trying to kill yet another prostitute. The two G.I. Joes jumped on the psychopath and tied him up and turned him over to the Kremlin. They then went home and reported their success to their leader Duke. Duke, however was busy answering political criticisms regarding his 'censorship' of G.I. Joe trading-cards that featured images/figure-models of Cobra agents. Snake-Eyes and Lady Jaye winked at each other, and Lady Jaye told Duke, "It would be my pleasure Duke to help clear your name with some savvy gender-angled marketing!" Lady Jaye planned to market the Cobra trading-cards of female agents (such as the diabolical Baroness) as incendiary symbols of gender-politics (to detract attention away from Duke's censorship of all Cobra trading-cards). The plan worked, and eventually, Duke sanctioned the production of Cobra trading-cards (perhaps the fact that he was now married to the Baroness facilitating things!).

====



LADY JAYE and SNAKE-EYES:





THE TRADING CARDS:

 

[Abishai100]

Anastasia


====

Snake-Eyes' son Damien decided to travel to Moscow to do some independent anthropology research. He was investigating the prevalence of vagrancy on the streets of post-USSR Moscow and its relationship to economic markers. While doing his research, Damien met a beautiful young woman named Anastasia who was struggling after losing her factory job and was considering becoming a prostitute. Damien remembered the stories of the fearsome 'Night-Slasher' his father (Snake-Eyes) and Lady Jaye had to personally deal with some time ago. Nevertheless, Damien had a positive outlook and was happy about the cultural marketing of G.I. Joe and Cobra trading-cards in the USA. He felt lonely though, having broken up recently with former U.S. President Donald Trump's daughter (citing disagreements regarding democratic values as the reason for the divorce).

As Damien got to know Anastasia more and more, he realized he was in love with her and did everything he could to convince her not to become a prostitute. She remarked that he was just charmingly afraid that another 'Night-Slasher' type ghoul would rise to prominence while she was working, but Damien insisted that he could offer a happy life of comforts and security back in America. Anastasia was hesitant, because she had to care for her mentally handicapped step-brother Igor (a semi-psycho would sometimes wear bizarre face-masks and dance in front of the mirror posing with knives). Anastasia feared if she left Moscow, no one would care for Igor and he would turn to a life of dangerous criminality (perhaps even murder); she also knew that Igor would never agree to leave Moscow and go to America.

What Anastasia and Damien did not know was that a new crime syndicate named Red Triangle was rising to power in Moscow and was looking for any 'morally-wayward' young men (like Igor!) to join their 'tribe.' The leader of Red Triangle, a 'mad scientist' named Steppenwolf wanted to create an 'opium-empire' in Moscow. Anastasia feared that if Steppenwolf got a 'hold' of Igor, her step-brother would surely become someone like the 'Night-Slasher' Damien's father (Snake-Eyes) had to deal with some time ago. Damien realized he was having a difficult time compelling Anastasia to come back to America with him. All he wanted was to build a life of prosperity and happiness in an America blossoming with capitalism-optimism and democracy-efficiency under the general leadership of Duke and Lady Jaye. Damien at least knew that he was learning about the hurdles to democracy through his interaction with a Russian woman (Anastasia) and how he was feeling imaginative about 'gender-based revolution.' He wondered, however, if Russians (once communist) and Americans (eternal democracy-advocates arguably) were destined to continue drifting apart!

Damien got a phone call from his father (Snake-Eyes) who told him to hold tight in Moscow or get out as soon as possible, because a Cobra 'remnant' known as the Crimson Guard was planning to help Steppenwolf's Red Triangle become a resource for black-market munitions sales. Damien panicked and grabbed Anastasia and urged her to escape with him to America and get away from Steppenwolf and his Red Triangle gang. Anastasia broke down in tears and told Damien, "My step-brother Igor is semi-psychotic, and if he is left alone in Moscow under the 'shadow' of Steppenwolf, he might become a Red Triangle goon! I have to stay in Moscow even if it means sacrificing my 'womanly happiness' as you so 'eloquently' keep reminding me." Damien realized Anastasia already decided that a life of sisterhood-based marriage-sacrifice was worth the chance to protect her psychologically-crooked brother Igor from a life of organized crime. He left Anastasia in Moscow, praying that the G.I. Joes would somehow save her, but he never forgot her, and when he went back to America, he decided to become a political advocate of the needs of women in socially/culturally challenged conditions (e.g., domestic violence, Welfare-motherhood, homelessness, drug addiction, etc.).

====


DAMIEN and ANASTASIA:

GI JOE:

 

[Abishai100]

The End of the Affair



====

Damien's best friend Samuels was about to go on a 'gender-adventure' of his own. The adopted son of Flint (one of the generals of the G.I. Joes), Samuels decided to devote his life to the study of the history of wars. Samuels despised violence and travelled to the scenic and mentally-soothing snowy Alps to meditate while researching war histories on the Internet (modern technologies enabled him to wirelessly access the Internet from a mountaintop!). Samuels met a strange woman on World Discussion Internet Forum (WDIF) who was posting using the alias/avatar 'Spider-Woman' (Marvel Comics), a fictional superheroine in pop-culture art in the USA. The woman told Samuels her real name while chatting online --- Cleopatra.

Cleopatra (aka, 'Spider-Woman') was writing messages on the Internet about the promotion of democracy through the convenience marked models of commerce-gauged cultural exchange (e.g., International Bazaar Magazine online!). Samuels started using the Internet alias/avatar 'Iceman' (Marvel Comics) to correspond with Cleopatra/Spider-Woman. 'Iceman' and 'Spider-Woman' became close Internet chat-buddies and other members on WDIF noted their chemistry was superb. Iceman asked Spider-Woman what she thought about the Gulf War, and Spider-Woman replied, "It's an obvious example of competitive economics-based politics gone to hell!" Samuels decided not to tell Cleopatra that U.S. female senator Hillary Clinton was his godmother, since he was wondering if too much politics-chatter would cloud his very child-like intentions towards Cleopatra. Besides, Cleopatra was a clear supporter of the capitalism-subjective Trump Administration and not so much a supporter of Hillary or Bill Clinton. What Samuels did not know was that he was about to receive a lesson in 'gender-McCarthyism' politics from Cleopatra.

Iceman (Samuels) realized Spider-Woman (Cleopatra) was very passionate but somewhat too radical for his tastes. However, he started falling in love with her worldly-wisdom and her offbeat sophisticated grace. For example, she would always tell him t things like, "You mentioned you like wearing ski-masks/balaclavas every Halloween, and I think it's because you're curious about the metaphysical hypocrisy of masquerade!" Yes, Iceman thought Spider-Woman was rather shrewd and world-wise and was contemplating asking her to be his wife. However, one week later Iceman received an email love-letter from a secret-admirer claiming she was fascinated by the history of wars. This woman was named Shelbye, and she was using the Internet alias/avatar 'Black Cat' (Marvel Comics). In the comic books, Spider-Woman and Black Cat are enemies, which troubled Samuels.

When Samuels (Iceman) did not correspond with Cleopatra (Spider-Woman) for some time, she asked him if he met another woman, and he confessed he met a charming young American with a great interest in the history of wars. Iceman did not tell Spider-Woman what this woman's name/alias was (Shelbye/Black Cat), but he started to suspect they were the same person. His suspicions magnified when both Spider-Woman and Black Cat told him, "You should use your history of war academic interest to consider writing a 'peoples' history' of the errors of the petroleum-based Gulf War!" Iceman (Samuels) realized that Cleopatra ('Spider-Woman') was hired by Cobra to trick him into thinking that academic people could be 'cajoled' into embracing anti-federalism biases. Samuels concluded that Cleopatra was most likely the daughter of the female Cobra vizier Baroness. He still felt optimistic about the promotion of democratic values that facilitated the political careers of female 'gender-iconic' politicians such as Hillary Clinton and Margaret Thatcher (and he thanked God he was American!). Duke, the leader of the G.I. Joes, commissioned Samuels' strange love-story to be adapted into an entertaining Hollywood (USA) film about star-crossed lovers (to argue that betrayal can be turned into democratic bravado!). The film was called A Life Less Ordinary.

====

A Life Less Ordinary (Film)



CLEOPATRA and SAMUELS: