Aging Sucks

[ZackB]

I feel totally fucked up today. I started drinking some wine Saturday night prior to grilling out. We had guests that were drinking. My drinking got a little out of hand; I got the Dewers out after the wine was gone. It sounds stupid, but at some point there was a challenge as to who can sprint faster. When I was younger I was fast...faster than a negro trying to beat off before his mom catches him. Anyway, I had too much to drink to be attempting any such thing. My legs did not work in perfect harmony with my brain and I tripped, taking a dive into my front lawn. It was no big deal at the time. But last night I started getting sore. Now my ribs hurt, my chest hurts and my arms and shoulders hurt. It's like when you are sick and your chest hurts because you have been coughing hard.

A simple spill should not fuck me up so badly. I am afraid that this is a sign of things to come as I get older.

 

[HenryBHough]

Bragging ill becomes.

 

[tigerred59]

I feel totally fucked up today. I started drinking some wine Saturday night prior to grilling out. We had guests that were drinking. My drinking got a little out of hand; I got the Dewers out after the wine was gone. It sounds stupid, but at some point there was a challenge as to who can sprint faster. When I was younger I was fast...faster than a negro trying to beat off before his mom catches him. Anyway, I had too much to drink to be attempting any such thing. My legs did not work in perfect harmony with my brain and I tripped, taking a dive into my front lawn. It was no big deal at the time. But last night I started getting sore. Now my ribs hurt, my chest hurts and my arms and shoulders hurt. It's like when you are sick and your chest hurts because you have been coughing hard.

A simple spill should not fuck me up so badly. I am afraid that this is a sign of things to come as I get older.

Yelp, getting old is a bitch, but getting stupid as you age is much worse....listen up, as you age, do us all a favor and grow up while on this journey.....comparing your aging to a nigga, really? One would suspect the reason your body was aching had nothing to do with your drinking and more to do with you being out of shape and sloppy.

 

[Iceweasel]

Aging sucks but it beats the alternative.

 

[Asclepias]

I feel totally fucked up today. I started drinking some wine Saturday night prior to grilling out. We had guests that were drinking. My drinking got a little out of hand; I got the Dewers out after the wine was gone. It sounds stupid, but at some point there was a challenge as to who can sprint faster. When I was younger I was fast...faster than a negro trying to beat off before his mom catches him. Anyway, I had too much to drink to be attempting any such thing. My legs did not work in perfect harmony with my brain and I tripped, taking a dive into my front lawn. It was no big deal at the time. But last night I started getting sore. Now my ribs hurt, my chest hurts and my arms and shoulders hurt. It's like when you are sick and your chest hurts because you have been coughing hard.

A simple spill should not fuck me up so badly. I am afraid that this is a sign of things to come as I get older.

You cave chimps are always fun to watch when you are drunk. When I was in the military I watched you guys got drunk every weekend and it was pretty disgusting to say the least. You guys lack a natural athleticism in the best of times but you are correct. You are downright clumsy when you are drunk.

 

[Arianrhod]

With apologies to T.S. Eliot:

This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but...

...with a "Here, hold my beer and watch this!"

Rednecks. Bet it was box wine, too.

Oh, and it's Dewar's...from the gentleman who gave civilization the thermos (although he called it a "vacuum flask"):

Vacuum flask - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Finally, to quote Ron White, "you can't fix Stupid."

 

[Muhammed]

I feel totally fucked up today. I started drinking some wine Saturday night prior to grilling out. We had guests that were drinking. My drinking got a little out of hand; I got the Dewers out after the wine was gone. It sounds stupid, but at some point there was a challenge as to who can sprint faster. When I was younger I was fast...faster than a negro trying to beat off before his mom catches him. Anyway, I had too much to drink to be attempting any such thing. My legs did not work in perfect harmony with my brain and I tripped, taking a dive into my front lawn. It was no big deal at the time. But last night I started getting sore. Now my ribs hurt, my chest hurts and my arms and shoulders hurt. It's like when you are sick and your chest hurts because you have been coughing hard.

A simple spill should not fuck me up so badly. I am afraid that this is a sign of things to come as I get older.

Didn't you ever learn how to roll?

 

[Carla_Danger]

 

[tigerred59]

I feel totally fucked up today. I started drinking some wine Saturday night prior to grilling out. We had guests that were drinking. My drinking got a little out of hand; I got the Dewers out after the wine was gone. It sounds stupid, but at some point there was a challenge as to who can sprint faster. When I was younger I was fast...faster than a negro trying to beat off before his mom catches him. Anyway, I had too much to drink to be attempting any such thing. My legs did not work in perfect harmony with my brain and I tripped, taking a dive into my front lawn. It was no big deal at the time. But last night I started getting sore. Now my ribs hurt, my chest hurts and my arms and shoulders hurt. It's like when you are sick and your chest hurts because you have been coughing hard.

A simple spill should not fuck me up so badly. I am afraid that this is a sign of things to come as I get older.

You cave chimps are always fun to watch when you are drunk. When I was in the military I watched you guys got drunk every weekend and it was pretty disgusting to say the least. You guys lack a natural athleticism in the best of times but you are correct. You are downright clumsy when you are drunk.

So true and they always find reasons to get unhappy...LOLOLOLOLOL. After work one Friday, me and a few of my co workers went out drinking with this white chic and this bitch out of no where starting talking about how fucked her life had been, it was a real debbie downer, we spent the whole damn night after the club trying to cheer this bitch up..LOLOLOL and its happened before with this other white chic I went drinking with...bottom line, leave Becky at home!!

 

[Alex.]

OP should be entitled "Getting Drunk and Acting Like a Fool Sucks"

 

[Asclepias]

I feel totally fucked up today. I started drinking some wine Saturday night prior to grilling out. We had guests that were drinking. My drinking got a little out of hand; I got the Dewers out after the wine was gone. It sounds stupid, but at some point there was a challenge as to who can sprint faster. When I was younger I was fast...faster than a negro trying to beat off before his mom catches him. Anyway, I had too much to drink to be attempting any such thing. My legs did not work in perfect harmony with my brain and I tripped, taking a dive into my front lawn. It was no big deal at the time. But last night I started getting sore. Now my ribs hurt, my chest hurts and my arms and shoulders hurt. It's like when you are sick and your chest hurts because you have been coughing hard.

A simple spill should not fuck me up so badly. I am afraid that this is a sign of things to come as I get older.

You cave chimps are always fun to watch when you are drunk. When I was in the military I watched you guys got drunk every weekend and it was pretty disgusting to say the least. You guys lack a natural athleticism in the best of times but you are correct. You are downright clumsy when you are drunk.

So true and they always find reasons to get unhappy...LOLOLOLOLOL. After work one Friday, me and a few of my co workers went out drinking with this white chic and this bitch out of no where starting talking about how fucked her life had been, it was a real debbie downer, we spent the whole damn night after the club trying to cheer this bitch up..LOLOLOL and its happened before with this other white chic I went drinking with...bottom line, leave Becky at home!!

When I was in Korea this fool fell into a turtle ditch and took off all his clothes in the fucking snow. i thought his ass was going to die but his friends thought it was fun to watch him crying over his family bucked naked in the snow. He stayed out there all night and didnt even get frost bite. I guess that soju acted like anti-freeze.

 

[Bonzi]

film at 11

 

[Bonzi]

when I get drunk I just tear things up and shout profanities at people.
I laugh at non PC things, and become pretty much Satan

 

[Auld Phart]

 

[tigerred59]

I feel totally fucked up today. I started drinking some wine Saturday night prior to grilling out. We had guests that were drinking. My drinking got a little out of hand; I got the Dewers out after the wine was gone. It sounds stupid, but at some point there was a challenge as to who can sprint faster. When I was younger I was fast...faster than a negro trying to beat off before his mom catches him. Anyway, I had too much to drink to be attempting any such thing. My legs did not work in perfect harmony with my brain and I tripped, taking a dive into my front lawn. It was no big deal at the time. But last night I started getting sore. Now my ribs hurt, my chest hurts and my arms and shoulders hurt. It's like when you are sick and your chest hurts because you have been coughing hard.

A simple spill should not fuck me up so badly. I am afraid that this is a sign of things to come as I get older.

You cave chimps are always fun to watch when you are drunk. When I was in the military I watched you guys got drunk every weekend and it was pretty disgusting to say the least. You guys lack a natural athleticism in the best of times but you are correct. You are downright clumsy when you are drunk.

So true and they always find reasons to get unhappy...LOLOLOLOLOL. After work one Friday, me and a few of my co workers went out drinking with this white chic and this bitch out of no where starting talking about how fucked her life had been, it was a real debbie downer, we spent the whole damn night after the club trying to cheer this bitch up..LOLOLOL and its happened before with this other white chic I went drinking with...bottom line, leave Becky at home!!

When I was in Korea this fool fell into a turtle ditch and took off all his clothes in the fucking snow. i thought his ass was going to die but his friends thought it was fun to watch him crying over his family bucked naked in the snow. He stayed out there all night and didnt even get frost bite. I guess that soju acted like anti-freeze.

So we can all agree, when white gets stinky, it sucks to be around these peopleand they get creepy on ya. This one white chic tried to go lesbian on me when I was in the Navy... of course she claims to not remember shit the next day..yeah right!! Needless to day, me and Ol girl never went drinking again.

 

[tigerred59]

when I get drunk I just tear things up and shout profanities at people.
I laugh at non PC things, and become pretty much Satan

So uh, how much jail time does one have under its belt?

 

[Asclepias]

I feel totally fucked up today. I started drinking some wine Saturday night prior to grilling out. We had guests that were drinking. My drinking got a little out of hand; I got the Dewers out after the wine was gone. It sounds stupid, but at some point there was a challenge as to who can sprint faster. When I was younger I was fast...faster than a negro trying to beat off before his mom catches him. Anyway, I had too much to drink to be attempting any such thing. My legs did not work in perfect harmony with my brain and I tripped, taking a dive into my front lawn. It was no big deal at the time. But last night I started getting sore. Now my ribs hurt, my chest hurts and my arms and shoulders hurt. It's like when you are sick and your chest hurts because you have been coughing hard.

A simple spill should not fuck me up so badly. I am afraid that this is a sign of things to come as I get older.

You cave chimps are always fun to watch when you are drunk. When I was in the military I watched you guys got drunk every weekend and it was pretty disgusting to say the least. You guys lack a natural athleticism in the best of times but you are correct. You are downright clumsy when you are drunk.

So true and they always find reasons to get unhappy...LOLOLOLOLOL. After work one Friday, me and a few of my co workers went out drinking with this white chic and this bitch out of no where starting talking about how fucked her life had been, it was a real debbie downer, we spent the whole damn night after the club trying to cheer this bitch up..LOLOLOL and its happened before with this other white chic I went drinking with...bottom line, leave Becky at home!!

When I was in Korea this fool fell into a turtle ditch and took off all his clothes in the fucking snow. i thought his ass was going to die but his friends thought it was fun to watch him crying over his family bucked naked in the snow. He stayed out there all night and didnt even get frost bite. I guess that soju acted like anti-freeze.

So we can all agree, when white gets stinky, it sucks to be around these peopleand they get creepy on ya. This one white chic tried to go lesbian on me when I was in the Navy... of course she claims to not remember shit the next day..yeah right!! Needless to day, me and Ol girl never went drinking again.

I dont drink so I dont like being around drunk people at all. Yeah in general white guys do some weird stuff when they get drunk. They get brave and start talking shit. They pee on each other. Some get really suicidal. Some get homosexual. I remember a 4 of them got in bed together bucked naked when I was in the service. I took a picture of them for proof and they were pissed at me.

 

[ZackB]

I feel totally fucked up today. I started drinking some wine Saturday night prior to grilling out. We had guests that were drinking. My drinking got a little out of hand; I got the Dewers out after the wine was gone. It sounds stupid, but at some point there was a challenge as to who can sprint faster. When I was younger I was fast...faster than a negro trying to beat off before his mom catches him. Anyway, I had too much to drink to be attempting any such thing. My legs did not work in perfect harmony with my brain and I tripped, taking a dive into my front lawn. It was no big deal at the time. But last night I started getting sore. Now my ribs hurt, my chest hurts and my arms and shoulders hurt. It's like when you are sick and your chest hurts because you have been coughing hard.

A simple spill should not fuck me up so badly. I am afraid that this is a sign of things to come as I get older.

You cave chimps are always fun to watch when you are drunk. When I was in the military I watched you guys got drunk every weekend and it was pretty disgusting to say the least. You guys lack a natural athleticism in the best of times but you are correct. You are downright clumsy when you are drunk.

That's awfully racist. At least I didn't knock up some bitch then leave her to raise the kid on her own.

 

[ZackB]

I feel totally fucked up today. I started drinking some wine Saturday night prior to grilling out. We had guests that were drinking. My drinking got a little out of hand; I got the Dewers out after the wine was gone. It sounds stupid, but at some point there was a challenge as to who can sprint faster. When I was younger I was fast...faster than a negro trying to beat off before his mom catches him. Anyway, I had too much to drink to be attempting any such thing. My legs did not work in perfect harmony with my brain and I tripped, taking a dive into my front lawn. It was no big deal at the time. But last night I started getting sore. Now my ribs hurt, my chest hurts and my arms and shoulders hurt. It's like when you are sick and your chest hurts because you have been coughing hard.

A simple spill should not fuck me up so badly. I am afraid that this is a sign of things to come as I get older.

You cave chimps are always fun to watch when you are drunk. When I was in the military I watched you guys got drunk every weekend and it was pretty disgusting to say the least. You guys lack a natural athleticism in the best of times but you are correct. You are downright clumsy when you are drunk.

So true and they always find reasons to get unhappy...LOLOLOLOLOL. After work one Friday, me and a few of my co workers went out drinking with this white chic and this bitch out of no where starting talking about how fucked her life had been, it was a real debbie downer, we spent the whole damn night after the club trying to cheer this bitch up..LOLOLOL and its happened before with this other white chic I went drinking with...bottom line, leave Becky at home!!

When I was in Korea this fool fell into a turtle ditch and took off all his clothes in the fucking snow. i thought his ass was going to die but his friends thought it was fun to watch him crying over his family bucked naked in the snow. He stayed out there all night and didnt even get frost bite. I guess that soju acted like anti-freeze.

So we can all agree, when white gets stinky, it sucks to be around these peopleand they get creepy on ya. This one white chic tried to go lesbian on me when I was in the Navy... of course she claims to not remember shit the next day..yeah right!! Needless to day, me and Ol girl never went drinking again.

I dont drink so I dont like being around drunk people at all. Yeah in general white guys do some weird stuff when they get drunk. They get brave and start talking shit. They pee on each other. Some get really suicidal. Some get homosexual. I remember a 4 of them got in bed together bucked naked when I was in the service. I took a picture of them for proof and they were pissed at me.

Well, you got me there.

 

[Asclepias]

I feel totally fucked up today. I started drinking some wine Saturday night prior to grilling out. We had guests that were drinking. My drinking got a little out of hand; I got the Dewers out after the wine was gone. It sounds stupid, but at some point there was a challenge as to who can sprint faster. When I was younger I was fast...faster than a negro trying to beat off before his mom catches him. Anyway, I had too much to drink to be attempting any such thing. My legs did not work in perfect harmony with my brain and I tripped, taking a dive into my front lawn. It was no big deal at the time. But last night I started getting sore. Now my ribs hurt, my chest hurts and my arms and shoulders hurt. It's like when you are sick and your chest hurts because you have been coughing hard.

A simple spill should not fuck me up so badly. I am afraid that this is a sign of things to come as I get older.

You cave chimps are always fun to watch when you are drunk. When I was in the military I watched you guys got drunk every weekend and it was pretty disgusting to say the least. You guys lack a natural athleticism in the best of times but you are correct. You are downright clumsy when you are drunk.

That's awfully racist. At least I didn't knock up some bitch then leave her to raise the kid on her own.

What was racist? I'm pretty sure no women would let you have sex with her let alone a female dog.