A Day In The Life Of Joe Republican

Discussion in 'Humor' started by CharlestonChad, Sep 25, 2006.

  1. CharlestonChad
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    CharlestonChad Baller Deluxe

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    A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JOE REPUBLICAN

    Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with
    water to prepare his
    morning coffee. The water is clean and good because
    some tree-hugging
    liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards.

    With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily
    medication. His
    medications are safe to take because some stupid
    commie liberal fought to
    ensure their safety and that they work as advertised.

    All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his
    employer's medical plan
    because some liberal union workers fought their
    employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too.

    He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs.
    Joe's bacon is safe to
    eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to
    regulate the meat
    packing industry.

    In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo.
    His bottle is properly
    labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the
    total contents because
    some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what
    he was putting on his
    body and how much it contained.

    Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath.
    The air he breathes is
    clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal
    fought for the laws to
    stop industries from polluting our air.

    He walks to the subway station for his
    government-subsidized ride to work.
    It saves him considerable money in parking and
    transportation fees because
    some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public
    transportation, which
    gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

    Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with
    excellent pay, medical
    benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation
    because some lazy liberal
    union members fought and died for these working
    standards. Joe's employer
    pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't
    want his employees to
    call the union.

    If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll
    get a worker
    compensation or unemployment check because some stupid
    liberal didn't think
    he should lose his home because of his temporary
    misfortune.

    It's noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so
    he can pay some bills.
    Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC
    because some godless
    liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from
    unscrupulous bankers who ruined
    the banking system before the Great Depression.

    Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage
    and his below-market
    federal student loan because some elitist liberal
    decided that Joe and the
    government would be better off if he was educated and
    earned more money over
    his lifetime.

    Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father
    this evening at his
    farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the
    drive. His car is among
    the safest in the world because some America-hating
    liberal fought for car
    safety standards.

    He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third
    generation to live in the
    house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because
    bankers didn't want
    to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity
    until some
    big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't
    belong and demanded
    rural electrification.

    He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His
    father lives on
    Social Security and a union pension because some
    wine-drinking,
    cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of
    himself so Joe
    wouldn't have to.

    Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns
    on a radio talk show.
    The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and
    conservatives are
    good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans
    have fought against
    every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his
    day.

    Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government
    liberals ruining our lives!
    After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone
    should take care of
    themselves, just like I have."

    * written by Donna L. Lavins and Sheldon Cotler.
     
  2. dmp
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    dmp Senior Member

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    Moved to humor.
     
  3. Bonnie
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    Bonnie Senior Member

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    more

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn/emailafriend?contentId=AR2006041401648&sent=no
     
  4. William Joyce
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    William Joyce Chemotherapy for PC

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    Don't worry, lefties. There's crude anger on the right, too... it's just a little farther right than that puff-pastry homo Karl Rove:

    http://vanguardnewsnetwork.com/

    Funny, I didn't see David Finkel at the Washington Post do a sympathetic story about that website...
     
  5. Bonnie
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    Bonnie Senior Member

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    lol keep that sense of humor WJ :)
     

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