A Couple of Hump Day Funnies

Discussion in 'Humor' started by jillian, Mar 18, 2009.

  1. jillian
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    jillian Princess Supporting Member

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    Divorce vs. Murder

    A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."

    The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

    The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

    The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law!" "I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

    The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a pi cture of her husband in bed with the p harmacist's wife.

    The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. Why you didn't tell me you had a prescription?"

    **************************************

    Wall Street Economics

    Young Chuck, moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.
    The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkey died."
    Chuck replied, "Well, then just give me my money back."
    The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
    Chuck said, "Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey."
    The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"
    Chuck said, "I'm going to raffle him off."
    The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
    Chuck said, "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."
    A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"
    Chuck said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00."
    The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?"
    Chuck said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."
    Chuck now works for Morgan Stanley in their OTC Default20Derivative Department.
     
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  2. driveby
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    driveby Gold Member

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  3. jillian
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    jillian Princess Supporting Member

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    :eusa_angel::tongue:
     

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