- Oct 31, 2012
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Mysterious Underwater Anomaly Resurfaces off Antarctica
A weather-mapping system has captured a large wave anomaly between Antarctica and southern Africa for the second time in a month, sparking online speculation from internet sleuths.
Researchers have discovered that without this anomaly there would be no waves in the ocean at all but could not identify what the source of it actually was. Scientists concluded that without the wave machine, the ocean would be just one giant farm pond.
"It must be God's wave machine" said a scientist at the Oceanographic Institute. "God knew that without the wave machine, the ocean would not be super fun like it is today. I mean, would you go to a water park without a wave machine? Hell no!. We don't know the source, so it must be God."
However, the Biden administration fired back. "This is not science", retorted Jeane Pierre, spokesperson for the Biden administration who is historically Black and Lesbian. "Science tells us women don't exist, or if they do, we are not really sure how to identify them without a biologist, a slide ruler, and a 40-page dissertation on the state of a birthing person's mental health, but this, this is not science. This is a result of what we have been warning you all about, which is the rise of White Nationalist Christians, the biggest threat to everything we hold dear and sacred. After all, if the Biden Administration really believed in God, would we champion and fund the infanticide of abortion on demand across the globe and support those chanting gas the Jews at ever university around the country? Hell no! In fact, I would not even be a proud carpet muncher if that were the case"
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