Whats With All the Porch Piracy?

[JimBowie1958]

Florida cop's wife arrested for stealing child's Christmas gifts from porch

Folks, dont order over the internet and have them just leave it on the porch.

 

[Lakhota]

Put some boxes of exploding shit on your porch and just leave them there. Make them look appealing.

 

[JimBowie1958]

Put some boxes of exploding shit on your porch and just leave them there. Make them look appealing.

Wouldnt do the porch much good, but, ya know, it might be worth it, lol.

I knew this dude in Texas who had some stuff stolen from his car that was broken down along the side of I20, and it really pissed him off and he kind of blamed all those who 'salvage' things found alongside the road.

Anyway, he told me he had something to show me, and what he did was he bought a cheap $5 ice chest and took a shit in it (in privacy, dont go there).

He then took the ice chest and placed it about 50 yards down I20 from this over pass and we both stood there watching to see what happened. Sure enough some dude driving a Caddy pulled off to the shoulder then backed up to get the ice chest. Now this chest had been sitting in the hot Texas summer sun and it had to be 120 degrees in that damned chest.

So the guy runs up, gets the chest then jogs back to the car like someone might arrest him for taking it so he had to hurry. Well, he closed the car door and the Caddy went about 30 feet and came to a dust flying halt as the passenger door flew open and the ice chest was flung onto the roadside and the Caddy sped off with all its windows down.

True story, seriously. People are weird, but they can also be devious, so never laugh a person to scorn when they know your address and what car you drive.

 

[Spinster]

We had our crab pots out sitting in the water for a soak. When we pulled one up we found someone had robbed it of the crab, but in payment they left a half case of beer. Nice person, after all.

 

[Alystyr]

Similar story to Jim's...
Had a pal that lived in an area where there was a rash of stuff being snatched from cars - purses, bags, etc.
He got an old, large purse from someone and proceeded to take a dump in it... a couple of times. Or three. He then covered the resulting... err... payload with old bill envelopes, folded papers, and so on. A finishing touch was a ring of old keys snapped to the end of the purse. Very attractive target.
He closed it up, placed it beside a car like it had been forgotten, and headed off into concealment to watch the fun.

Sure enough, the perpetrator came along, saw the purse, looked around, grabbed it, then scurried off between two nearby residences. He quickly opened the purse and jammed his hand inside it....

OOPS!


Never had a problem after that. Go figure.

 

[Katzndogz]

I was walking my dog and had picked up her poop in a plastic bag I got at the bakery. Sure enough, some kid on a bike sped by and snatched my bakery bag. He shoved it in his jacket and laughed like a lunatic.

Every two weeks a grass company delivers a piece of grass I use as her potty grass. It was stolen off my doorstep. Whoever took it opened it, saw nothing but a plot of sod and returned it, without the box.