To Regain Popularity, MLB To Allow One Player Per Team To Take Steroids

[Votto]

To Regain Popularity, MLB To Allow One Player Per Team To Take Steroids​

Sports·Apr 3, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

U.S. — With a segment of fans longing for the excitement of previous eras of the game, Major League Baseball took a step to regain popularity by announcing one player per team would be allowed to take steroids.

While the sport has maintained its prominent position in American life, fans and owners have wondered if some of the excitement of the "steroid era" would provide a helpful boost to the game's mainstream popularity. The new rule change — letting each team select one player to put on the juice — is designed to do just that.

"Not only will they be permitted to take steroids, it will be actively encouraged," said MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred. "We want people glued to the game like they were back in the McGwire/Sosa/Bonds days. Nothing's more exciting than watching home runs, even if you have to deal with frightening intermittent bouts of roid rage."

Though the league is reportedly eager to see increased gains, both in muscle and television ratings, fan reaction has been mixed, with some longing for a bygone era when people used to follow baseball for the love of the game. Many of those fans, however, are expected to be bullied into submission by the bloodlust of others who demand that their team win at any cost.

Manny Machado, chosen to be the San Diego Padres' Designated Roider, has claimed that steroids in no way cheapen his achievements as an athlete. "Everything I have achieved could be done without steroids," he said while taking practice swings with an uprooted telephone pole. "I'm just getting on the juice to be a team player."

At publishing time, the Padres had just taken the lead over the Cardinals on Machado's fifth home run of the game.

 

[jbrownson0831]

To Regain Popularity, MLB To Allow One Player Per Team To Take Steroids​

Sports·Apr 3, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

View attachment 1111955

U.S. — With a segment of fans longing for the excitement of previous eras of the game, Major League Baseball took a step to regain popularity by announcing one player per team would be allowed to take steroids.

While the sport has maintained its prominent position in American life, fans and owners have wondered if some of the excitement of the "steroid era" would provide a helpful boost to the game's mainstream popularity. The new rule change — letting each team select one player to put on the juice — is designed to do just that.

"Not only will they be permitted to take steroids, it will be actively encouraged," said MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred. "We want people glued to the game like they were back in the McGwire/Sosa/Bonds days. Nothing's more exciting than watching home runs, even if you have to deal with frightening intermittent bouts of roid rage."

Though the league is reportedly eager to see increased gains, both in muscle and television ratings, fan reaction has been mixed, with some longing for a bygone era when people used to follow baseball for the love of the game. Many of those fans, however, are expected to be bullied into submission by the bloodlust of others who demand that their team win at any cost.

Manny Machado, chosen to be the San Diego Padres' Designated Roider, has claimed that steroids in no way cheapen his achievements as an athlete. "Everything I have achieved could be done without steroids," he said while taking practice swings with an uprooted telephone pole. "I'm just getting on the juice to be a team player."

At publishing time, the Padres had just taken the lead over the Cardinals on Machado's fifth home run of the game.

Teams with low payrolls should get 3 players allowed......

 

[leftwinger]

One is designated that can gamble ($100million line of credit). Him/Her is noot allowed to place bets for other members of the team.

 

[August West]

The Pittsburgh Steelers won a lot of Super Bowls with those steroids and those guys are dying young. Steve Courson ratted them out and was treated like garbage until his early non steroid related death.

Book excerpt: Former Steeler Ernie Holmes had intense approach to football, life

The life and times of troubled former Steelers defensive lineman Ernie Holmes is chronicled in a new book. Here is an excerpt.

www.espn.com

https://archive.triblive.com/news/courson-says-super-steelers-were-on-steriods/