The Demonic Stewardess

[Abishai100]

A certain stewardess for KLM (Royal Dutch Airlines) named Elsa was involved in an elaborate international airline narcotics-smuggling ring. This ring included prominent pilots, numerous KLM employees, airport officials in Amsterdam, Holland and New York, USA. The carriers, employed by South American druglords and Russian mafia, would pick up the narcotics items transported by KLM people and take them to the appropriate black market relay hubs.

Elsa had obtained quite a reputation working as a catwoman of the skies. She was engaged in affairs with various pilots and had become a strange bedfellow to a few South American fatheads. Elsa was even somewhat feared by other KLM stewardesses who had come to know her as someone who was not easy to hold down.

On one stop-over in Moscow (Russia) during a KLM flight from Amsterdam to Bangkok (Thailand), Elsa stopped in at a certain Christian Orthodox Russian cathedral where she felt a surprising need to contemplate her dangerous lifestyle. She made some confessions and felt somewhat better but considered how she might resemble a public demon. Elsa told herself that she never killed anyone and that she intended to settle down someday as a normal married woman. However, as she was leaving the cathedral, she thought she heard someone whisper, "A demonic stewardess is actually a movie star in the world of Satan," but when she looked around to see who said it, there was no one around.






JetBlue flight attendant incident - Wikipedia the free encyclopedia

 

[shart_attack]

Sounds like an excellent title for a children's book, to me.

 

[Abishai100]

Addendum

Telemarketer Tracy: "Hi, my name is Tracy from British Airways. Who am I speaking with today?"

John Doe: "Hello, miss. I'm Mr. John Doe."

Telemarketer Tracy: "Mr. Doe, we have a great deal for you today."

John Doe: "What is it?"

Telemarketer Tracy: "We would like to send you by mail a British Airways stewardess activity puzzle. We provide a hypothetical story about a certain British Airways stewardess's activities, and if you correctly guess her next move, we will send you a free one-way British Airways ticket (and half-priced return-ticket) to a European city of your choice. All you have to do is send the details of your reward package to five friends by email to claim your ticket. Would you like me to send you the British Airways stewardess puzzle now?"

John Doe: "Go ahead. I'll give it a try."

--------------

Weeks go by, and Mr. Doe receives the stewardess puzzle in the mail. It reads, "British Airways stewardess Nicole Darby is on a flight from Barcelona, Spain to London, England. While on flight, she realizes that her husband's best friend is on the airplane. She goes over to say a special hello to him, but he is crying. He tells her that his wife is really sick and that is why he is traveling to London to see her. He asks her if she will give him a kiss to comfort him. She does what?"

Mr. Doe guesses that Nicole refuses to kiss the passenger and instead gives him free drinks and sends in his guess and it is the correct answer. Mr. Doe travels to Vienna, Austria with his winning British Airways promotional package and sends the details of the package to five of his co-worker friends by email. When one of his co-worker friends, Daniel, tries the same puzzle, he guesses incorrectly that Nicole kisses the passenger and is told by British Airways sales representative that his guess was wrong and that Nicole would respond with an indecent request by shooting the passenger with a water-gun that the airline provided her with in case of such a strange defensive and awkward scenario which requires humor to save the day.

Daniel is upset he guessed wrong and sends in a formal complaint to British Airways, stating that the puzzle was ridiculous. A British Airways sales representative asks Daniel to come into one of their offices and while driving to the office, Daniel dies in a fatal car accident involving a speeding car trying merge onto the highway too close to him while another car was trying to over-take him in another lane.

The investigation of the car accident draws suspicion that there was foul play, but British Airways is in no way connected.

Mr. Doe hears of the news and is shocked and calls British Airways to reach the same telemarketer who gave him the package (Tracy). When he asks her, "What do you think happened to my friend Daniel who I suppose guessed incorrectly with the British Airways puzzle?," she replies, "Daniel was rude."