Super Bowl Will Be Delayed To Play National Anthems For All 165 Racial Groups In U.S.

[Votto]

Super Bowl Will Be Delayed To Play National Anthems For All 165 Racial Groups In U.S.​

Sports·Feb 6, 2026 · BabylonBee.com

SANTA CLARA, CA — The NFL confirmed that this year's Super Bowl, which normally starts at 6:30 Eastern, will be delayed until 11:30 PM to give everyone time to sing a separate national anthem for America's 165 different racial groups.

"We need to make sure everyone is included," said NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. "We will start with 'The Star Spangled Banner,' which we're pretty sure is the white national anthem, and then follow that up with 'Lift Every Voice and Sing' for the blacks. Then, we'll just kinda keep going from there until we get them all sung. This will fix racism."

Other songs confirmed in the lineup include "Hava Nagila" for the Jews, "La Cucaracha" for the Mexicans, and Soundgarden's "Blow Up the Outside World" for the Arabs.

"We're even including 'Dancing Queen' for the gay races," said Goodell proudly. "It's gonna be so inclusive, which is what football is all about, when you think about it."

Critics condemned the NFL's decision and claimed that "The Star Spangled Banner" was supposed to be a unifying anthem for everyone. Goodell then responded to the critics by calling them racists.

"To cure racism, we must segregate all people groups at all times," he said.

At publishing time, the NFL had elected to get rid of "The Star Spangled Banner" for the whites and replace it with "Cotton Eye Joe."

 

[luiza]

Does this event typify why America gets so few Wins on the world stage?

They throw the ball forward and lose out on the skill and artistry of a the long build -ups you get in real men's team games like Football and Rugby .--- where the US performs moderately , and that is being charitable .

Is it coincidence that America never wins on the battle field ?
It was so bad in Afghanistan that they limited their involvement in Ukraine --- their poorly performing equipment of Planes, Tanks and missile Launchers got knocked out with embarrassing ease .
Praised before they arrived --- followed by silence
They became a running joke . Most actually stopped running very quickly .

They also have the most stupid game of all --- Basketball -- which requires you to be as tall as a sapling tree before you can even get on the court .

And when they are bored these less than mentally well endowed Americans jump into cars and go round and round in circles .

It all looks dreadful from the outside but you will not thank me for reminding you of the impression you give to the rest of us .