**** My Life ...

[driveby]

Think you have it bad ?

Check some of these folks out......

F*** My Life - FML : Your everyday life stories.

 

[Zoom-boing]

 

[Dis]

Today, my ex-boyfriend came over. After I finished pouring my heart out to him about how much I missed him, and how much I loved him, he looks at me and asks "So are we gonna do it, or what?" FML

LMAO. Boys are mean.

 

[driveby]

A few that i thought were good:



Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

Today, my on-and-off boyfriend of 8 years asked me to cheer him up. I told him that I'm in love with him. He said "Oh, I just wanted a blowjob." FML

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML

Today, my wife told me that if she had a penny for every time I had brought her to climax she'd have change for a nickel. We've been married for 16 years. FML

 

[Amanda]

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

What's wrong with that? Sometimes you really need to tell your friends something.

 

[driveby]

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

What's wrong with that? Sometimes you really need to tell your friends something.

i just spit my drink onto my screen, thanks ...

 

[Amanda]

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

What's wrong with that? Sometimes you really need to tell your friends something.

i just spit my drink onto my screen, thanks ...

Oh please, it's not like guys don't love to play XBox while they're getting blown. Take your double standards somewhere else!

 

[Dis]

What's wrong with that? Sometimes you really need to tell your friends something.

i just spit my drink onto my screen, thanks ...

Oh please, it's not like guys don't love to play XBox while they're getting blown. Take your double standards somewhere else!

Err.. If they do, you're doing it wrong..

 

[driveby]

What's wrong with that? Sometimes you really need to tell your friends something.

i just spit my drink onto my screen, thanks ...

Oh please, it's not like guys don't love to play XBox while they're getting blown. Take your double standards somewhere else!

ahhh, can't argue with ya there .......

 

[driveby]

i just spit my drink onto my screen, thanks ...

Oh please, it's not like guys don't love to play XBox while they're getting blown. Take your double standards somewhere else!

Err.. If they do, you're doing it wrong..

Not necessarily, if i do terrible on the game she's doing ok. If i break a scoring record during it, she's doing something wrong......

P.S. If this thread turns into a discussion about oral sex, watch how quick it blows up, no pun intended .....

 

[Amanda]

i just spit my drink onto my screen, thanks ...

Oh please, it's not like guys don't love to play XBox while they're getting blown. Take your double standards somewhere else!

Err.. If they do, you're doing it wrong..

It's no different than doing it while he's driving. And besides I have multiple modes. I can just be making it feel nice, or I can get him off. I've yet to find a man that can last even 3 minutes when I don't want him to, and I'm talking guys that can **** for 30 minutes without breaking a sweat. I got mad skillz.

 

[driveby]

Oh please, it's not like guys don't love to play XBox while they're getting blown. Take your double standards somewhere else!

Err.. If they do, you're doing it wrong..

It's no different than doing it while he's driving. And besides I have multiple modes. I can just be making it feel nice, or I can get him off. I've yet to find a man that can last even 3 minutes when I don't want him to, and I'm talking guys that can **** for 30 minutes without breaking a sweat. I got mad skillz.

Congrats, you will now be stalked by every male on this message board.......

 

[Amanda]

Err.. If they do, you're doing it wrong..

It's no different than doing it while he's driving. And besides I have multiple modes. I can just be making it feel nice, or I can get him off. I've yet to find a man that can last even 3 minutes when I don't want him to, and I'm talking guys that can **** for 30 minutes without breaking a sweat. I got mad skillz.

Congrats, you will now be stalked by every male on this message board.......

Pffft, too late.

 

[Paulie]

Wow, a whole 30 minutes?

 

[Agnapostate]

 

[Amanda]

Wow, a whole 30 minutes?

Yeah.... without breaking a sweat. And I'm taking missionary position without laying on me.

 

[Agnapostate]

Pffft, missionary position. Follow the way of the canine. It shall lead you to Paradise.

 

[Amanda]

Pffft, missionary position. Follow the way of the canine. It shall lead you to Paradise.

It doesn't take as much effort to kneel behind someone and thrust as it does to hold yourself suspended over them AND thrust. I refer to the position only as it is a feat of strength, not my favorite. I'm more of a cowgirl myself.

 

[driveby]

Pffft, missionary position. Follow the way of the canine. It shall lead you to Paradise.

hold yourself suspended over them AND thrust. I refer to the position only as it is a feat of strength

and stamina .....

 

[Agnapostate]

It doesn't take as much effort to kneel behind someone and thrust as it does to hold yourself suspended over them AND thrust. I refer to the position only as it is a feat of strength, not my favorite. I'm more of a cowgirl myself.

That always makes men feel so useless.

Though simultaneously ecstatic. So it works out.