Jasmine Crockett Hits Campaign Trail To Axe For Votes

[Votto]

Jasmine Crockett Hits Campaign Trail To Axe For Votes​

Politics·Dec 11, 2025 · BabylonBee.com

HOUSTON, TX — Representative Jasmine Crockett has officially launched her Senate bid, immediately hitting the campaign trail to "axe for votes."

Touting her new campaign slogan "Uh-Uh, No You Di-Uhnt", Crockett hopes to unseat Senator John Cornyn in the 2026 midterm elections.

"I ain't playin' baby girl, I runnin', which is why I be axing you fo yo votes," said the Rhodes graduate. "We out here talkin' 'bout showin' up, makin' noise, and actually usin' that ballot like it matter — 'cause it do. Every time we dip out on election day, somebody else makin' choices for us, and that ain't the move."

According to sources, Texans are reportedly close to understanding one or two of the words Ms. Crockett said in her launch speech. "Are there subtitles?" asked local man Roger Dowell, attempting to watch the speech. "Closed caption isn't working at all. Poor girl, usually they have a translator up there when they don't speak English. I don't know what the heck is happening here."

Crockett responded by condemning Dowell for inexcusable bigotry. "Dat cracka be RAYcist," said Crockett.

At publishing time, the Crockett campaign had stated that all previous videos of the candidate not using ghetto slang were AI deepfakes.

 

[Meister]

I heard her with her Ebonics flying on high fidelity.

 

[Leo123]

In case anyone has any doubt that Crockett is a liar, this is her platform from HER site:

"Through it all, I’ve never lost sight of the people. That’s why I’m running now – to get Texas back on track, to be a fighter for the middle-class, hard working Texans, ranchers, farmers, young families, oil workers, small businesses and the everyday people who make our State a vibrant, economic powerhouse. Today, under Trump and three decades of Republican rule in Texas, those very Texans are under daily attack. They are attacked for how they worship, who they love, what language their grandmother speaks, and you don’t know who will be on the chopping block next. I’m running to protect Texans from these attacks and safeguard the rights our Constitution guarantees. I’m running to knock down the door to opportunities that have only been cracked open for the elite few. I’m running to make home ownership and entrepreneurship, pillars of the American Dream, an obtainable reality for all Americans once more. I’m running to get Washington back to work on the issues that actually matter to us. Together, we will send a signal to the entire nation – Don’t Mess With Texas and certainly don’t count us out."

She's really good at layering lie after lie until nothing she says means anything. Just a bunch of racist garbage delivered in an unintelligible Ebonics accent.

 

[Meister]

She sure isn't talking about what she can do for the good people of
Texas, but, she sure is talking a lot about the party.
She is a twisted person.

 

[Leo123]

She sure isn't talking about what she can do for the good people of
Texas, but, she sure is talking a lot about the party.
She is a twisted person.

If you read her statement I posted, it is nothing but contrived talking points and slogans. There is really nothing else there. I actually seems like an AI screed.

 

[Lisa558]

If you read her statement I posted, it is nothing but contrived talking points and slogans. There is really nothing else there. I actually seems like an AI screed.

She reminds me of Kamala Harris, only she’s even worse. Kamala TRIED to sound intelligent, and this joke tries to sound like a ghetto rat.

 

[Meister]

She reminds me of Kamala Harris, only she’s even worse. Kamala TRIED to sound intelligent, and this joke tries to sound like a ghetto rat.

That is a good observation. Before her political career, she sounded intelligent.
Now she has to sound ghetto to relate to her base? Sounds racist to me.

 

[Lisa558]

That is a good observation. Before her political career, she sounded intelligent.
Now she has to sound ghetto to relate to her base? Sounds racist to me.

Yup. Apparently, she thinks in order to win blacks’ votes, she has to sound like them - which to her means a stupid, uneducated ghetto rat.

 

[SaxonJackson]