WillPower
Platinum Member
- Nov 22, 2018
- 6,989
- 2,258
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- Banned
- #1
When I turned 6 and was in first grade, the teacher told us tomorrow we'd study Christopher Columbus who at that time was still good people....especially to us wops. Instead of going straight home I always stayed late and swung on the high swings the principal wouldn't let us small-fry use during school hours. Me and Chucky's goal was to swing a loop over the top bar which had never been done...at least by anybody who didn't end up paralyzed or dead. This was long after the crossing guards had gone home so I had to look both ways down the boulevard and run like hell not to get run over. So I asked my Mom about old Christopher and she told me what she always told me: "I didn't buy the Encylopedia Britannica to answer all your questions so....LOOK IT UP!" So I trudged off, and looked him up.
Next day, sure enough the teacher started in on Columbus...and lo and behold asked us what his three ships were named. I raised my hand and waved at her like a wild little ape....if she hadn't called on me I might have blown a gasket but she did and my research proved correct....the Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria.
"That's right! she yelled, and flashed me her highbeams...her nipples popped out when she was excited. The rest of the kids looked at me like I was a rock star....all but Eileen....she was the class genius and muttered our loud she knew the ship names too. Her father was a Syrian opthamologist who would one day save my eyesight when a bike tire was over-inflated and blew the white powder in the tube into my eyeballs. So anyway, that's why I'm here...because I know stuff (because I looked it up) and I ain't blind.
-the end-
Next day, sure enough the teacher started in on Columbus...and lo and behold asked us what his three ships were named. I raised my hand and waved at her like a wild little ape....if she hadn't called on me I might have blown a gasket but she did and my research proved correct....the Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria.
"That's right! she yelled, and flashed me her highbeams...her nipples popped out when she was excited. The rest of the kids looked at me like I was a rock star....all but Eileen....she was the class genius and muttered our loud she knew the ship names too. Her father was a Syrian opthamologist who would one day save my eyesight when a bike tire was over-inflated and blew the white powder in the tube into my eyeballs. So anyway, that's why I'm here...because I know stuff (because I looked it up) and I ain't blind.

-the end-