Hamas Terrorists Distance Selves From Greta Thunberg

[Votto]

Hamas Terrorists Distance Selves From Greta Thunberg​

World·Sep 1, 2025 · BabylonBee.com

GAZA — Following news that the diminutive eco-geopolitical activist was once again planning to set sail to arrive in support of the Palestinian cause, Hamas terrorists released an official statement distancing themselves from Greta Thunberg.

Apparently not wanting the negativity that would come with any association with Thunberg, the infamous terrorist organization sought to clarify that they had absolutely nothing to do with her and that any connection was entirely manufactured on Thunberg's part.

"Please do not lump us in with her," said Hamas spokesterrorist Abu Muhammad Akhtar. "We're completely fine with being viewed by everyone around the world as a bloodthirsty, murderous band of evil terrorists, but that's totally different from being connected with Greta Thunberg. We don't want any part of that."

This was the second time that Thunberg had declared her support for Palestinians by embarking on a seafaring mission to Gaza, leading the terrorists to come out publicly to make sure the world knew that they did not condone or support her statements or actions. "She does not represent us," Akhtar continued. "There's negative publicity, and then there's association with Greta Thunberg. While we're willing to be vilified by the global community, we draw the line at letting anyone think we're in league with her. That would be awful for our image."

At publishing time, Hamas had also released a follow-up statement clarifying that, though it had claimed responsibility for numerous other atrocities over several decades, it had nothing to do with Greta Thunberg's haircut.

 

[Hafar1014]

She is crazy and fugly

 

[Votto]

She is crazy and fugly

Well, sure, but yea.

 

[Delldude]

 

[Paddlefoot]

Greta partying it up for the press in Tunisa. Sure, she is upset about Hamas people starving but this is important also.

 

[toobfreak]

Hamas Terrorists Distance Selves From Greta Thunberg​

I can't blame them. I mean, how many weeks has that ***** been out in her boat in the hot sun without so much as even a sponge bath???

 

[Paddlefoot]

I can't blame them. I mean, how many weeks has that ***** been out in her boat in the hot sun without so much as even a sponge bath???

She is spending most of the trip on land so I would say she has plenty of shower time.

 

[ShahdagMountains]

Bedbugs complaining.

 

[Paddlefoot]

 

[Blaster]

Thunberg just likes publicity.

 

[Delldude]

View attachment 1170726

PLO leprechaun brigade?

 

[ShahdagMountains]

 

[ShahdagMountains]

MEDITERRANEAN SEA — Terror struck a humanitarian mission on its way to Gaza, as the crew and passengers of the Global Sumud Flotilla reported a loud, jarring noise accompanied by a bright flash of light and heat, leading them to believe that doom was imminent.

While anchored off the coast of a Tunisian port, professional activist Greta Thunberg was heard by witnesses shouting for others on board to seek immediate shelter in an attempt to find safety from what was believed to be a military strike on the flotilla.

"Hit the deck! We're under attack!" Thunberg cried. "Engage all defensive measures! Pull anchor! Load the starboard cannons and get to your stations!"

The crisis was averted, however, after it was discovered that the commotion had been caused by a frozen burrito exploding in the galley microwave. "Turns out it wasn't a drone attack after all," said another passenger. "Sven got hungry and popped a bean and cheese burrito into the microwave and set the timer for too long. He said he got distracted playing Uno with the crew and forgot about the burrito. It totally sounded like a missile strike when it blew, though."

Thunberg later made a public statement on the incident. "This changes nothing," she said. "We will not be deterred by exploding burritos. We will continue our voyage to Gaza to provide the aid needed by the Palestinian people. Burritos have now been banned from the flotilla. No more burritos!"

At publishing time, Thunberg had alleged that the exploding burrito in question had been planted on board the vessel by Israel in an attempt to prevent it from reaching its destination.

'Hit The Deck! We're Under Attack!' Cries Greta Thunberg As Frozen Burrito Explodes In The Microwave

MEDITERRANEAN SEA — Terror struck a humanitarian mission on its way to Gaza, as the crew and passengers of the Global Sumud Flotilla reported a loud, jarring noise accompanied by a bright flash of light and heat, leading them to believe that doom was imminent.

babylonbee.com