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Excited Couple Closes Escrow On Dozen Eggs
Family·Feb 8, 2025 · BabylonBee.com
OLYMPIA, WA — After a lengthy negotiation process, local couple Chris and Haven Whitmer celebrated finally closing escrow on a dozen eggs.
Though a stretch on the young couple's budget, Haven had long dreamed of owning her own eggs, and Chris felt they had at last reached a place financially where they could take the plunge.
"We did it, babe," smiled Chris as he handed her the carton. "Gosh, how many eggs did we look at before we settled on these? It was all worth it, though. We finally have real, beautiful eggs to call our own."
While sources report that Haven initially had visions of jumbo eggs, she soon realized those were out of their price range. "With Chris being an engineer and me a teacher, jumbo eggs were never really an option," explained Haven. "These are the perfect starter eggs for a new couple like us. In ten years or so, we may talk about extra-large, but for now, we're so happy to have eggs that are really ours."
At publishing time, the Whitmer family had purchased egg-owner's insurance to protect their precious assets.
Family·Feb 8, 2025 · BabylonBee.com
OLYMPIA, WA — After a lengthy negotiation process, local couple Chris and Haven Whitmer celebrated finally closing escrow on a dozen eggs.
Though a stretch on the young couple's budget, Haven had long dreamed of owning her own eggs, and Chris felt they had at last reached a place financially where they could take the plunge.
"We did it, babe," smiled Chris as he handed her the carton. "Gosh, how many eggs did we look at before we settled on these? It was all worth it, though. We finally have real, beautiful eggs to call our own."
While sources report that Haven initially had visions of jumbo eggs, she soon realized those were out of their price range. "With Chris being an engineer and me a teacher, jumbo eggs were never really an option," explained Haven. "These are the perfect starter eggs for a new couple like us. In ten years or so, we may talk about extra-large, but for now, we're so happy to have eggs that are really ours."
At publishing time, the Whitmer family had purchased egg-owner's insurance to protect their precious assets.
