College Team Credits Football Championship To Discipline, Teamwork, $370 Million

[Votto]

College Team Credits Football Championship To Discipline, Teamwork, $370 Million​

Sports·Jan 21, 2026 · BabylonBee.com

MIAMI, FL — The Indiana Hoosiers credited their shocking college football championship victory to discipline, teamwork, and the $370 million spent buying their roster.

"We couldn't have done it without sticking together as a team, discipline, and $300 million," said Indiana coach Curt Cignetti. "We poured a lot of blood, sweat, and cold hard cash into reaching this moment. We faced adversity along the way, but we dug deep into our boosters' pocketbooks, and overcame. A few years ago, Indiana football wasn't even on the map. It just goes to show that no dream is out of reach if you put in the hard work and absolutely ridiculous amounts of money."

Indiana has long been an afterthought in the college football world, up until just two years ago when they realized they could buy a team with money. "We had no idea," said Indiana University President Robert Ganther. "You can literally purchase a good football team for hundreds of millions of dollars. It's amazing. We went from absolute trash to national champions in just two years, all thanks to teamwork and money."

At publishing time, the college football playoff runner-up Miami Hurricanes had vowed to return next year with even more determination and dollar bills.

 

[BackAgain]

The Bee is funny. And yet … not very wrong.

 

[Votto]

The Bee is funny. And yet … not very wrong.

It's the only fake news you can trust.

Honestly, sport is pretty much a joke when teams don't have similar payrolls.

Just look at how the Dodgers buy world championships every year. College football is pretty much the same.