Authorities Warn Katie Porter Has Grown To 600 Feet And Is Currently Rampaging Through San Francisco

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Authorities Warn Katie Porter Has Grown To 600 Feet And Is Currently Rampaging Through San Francisco​

Politics·Oct 8, 2025 · BabylonBee.com

SAN FRANCISCO - The National Guard has been called to California's Golden City to neutralize a 600-foot-tall Katie Porter, who is apparently rampaging her way through San Francisco.

Porter, a frontrunner in California's gubernatorial race, reportedly began roaring and growing to an unusual size after a reporter asked her a question.

"You didn't ask her a question, did you? Oh no! She hates that!" cried Mayor Daniel Lurie as the hulking monstrosity smashed a giant hole in the the Transatlantic tower. "There's no stopping her now! Run! Run for your lives!"

"BLLAAAAWWWRRRGGHHHHH!" responded Porter before swallowing a cable car. "KATIE MAAAD! KATIE SMAAAAASH!"

Sources say the problems began a few days ago, when a journalist asked her a question about how she planned to win over voters. Porter responded by screeching like a Nazgûl and growing several feet. Then later, a child asked Porter if she knew where the bathroom was, causing her to completely lose her mind and expand to a hulking 600-foot monster.

"KATIE NO LIKE QUESTIONS!" roared Katie. "BRAAWWWWWWRRRR!"

At time of publishing, Porter was seen swatting National Guard helicopters out of the sky and was still polling in 1st place for California Governor.

 

[Meister]

I'm glad I don't have to wake up to that in the morning. And if I did have
to wake up to that in the morning, I would be needing to wake just one eye,
because I would be sleeping with one eye open.

 

[Mashmont]

Authorities Warn Katie Porter Has Grown To 600 Feet And Is Currently Rampaging Through San Francisco​

Politics·Oct 8, 2025 · BabylonBee.com

View attachment 1171463

SAN FRANCISCO - The National Guard has been called to California's Golden City to neutralize a 600-foot-tall Katie Porter, who is apparently rampaging her way through San Francisco.

Porter, a frontrunner in California's gubernatorial race, reportedly began roaring and growing to an unusual size after a reporter asked her a question.

"You didn't ask her a question, did you? Oh no! She hates that!" cried Mayor Daniel Lurie as the hulking monstrosity smashed a giant hole in the the Transatlantic tower. "There's no stopping her now! Run! Run for your lives!"

"BLLAAAAWWWRRRGGHHHHH!" responded Porter before swallowing a cable car. "KATIE MAAAD! KATIE SMAAAAASH!"

Sources say the problems began a few days ago, when a journalist asked her a question about how she planned to win over voters. Porter responded by screeching like a Nazgûl and growing several feet. Then later, a child asked Porter if she knew where the bathroom was, causing her to completely lose her mind and expand to a hulking 600-foot monster.

"KATIE NO LIKE QUESTIONS!" roared Katie. "BRAAWWWWWWRRRR!"

At time of publishing, Porter was seen swatting National Guard helicopters out of the sky and was still polling in 1st place for California Governor.

Katie is a very attractive lady. Nice figure. Pretty face. Not afraid of follow up questions.

 

[Leo123]

The only good thing as she screwed her chances at Gov. of CA in that interview. Everyone saw what a flaming, ignorant, ***** she is.

 

[1srelluc]

The only good thing as she screwed her chances at Gov. of CA in that interview. Everyone saw what a flaming, ignorant, ***** she is.

Crazy Katie!

 

[Meister]

The only good thing as she screwed her chances at Gov. of CA in that interview. Everyone saw what a flaming, ignorant, ***** she is.

In 49 of 50 states, or 56 of Obama's 57 states, I would agree with you.
But, we are talking California......

 

[Votto]

Crazy Katie!

Otherwise, knowns as "Katzilla!!"

The movie comes out in November from what I understand.

 

[Leo123]

In 49 of 50 states, or 56 of Obama's 57 states, I would agree with you.
But, we are talking California......

Well, I live in California and I can tell you that most of geographic California are not Democrats San Francisco and LA are running to state so far we have our fingers crossed for Steve Hilton

 

[Meister]

Well, I live in California and I can tell you that most of geographic California are not Democrats San Francisco and LA are running to state so far we have our fingers crossed for Steve Hilton

I lived there for 41 years....during the good years, got out 18 years ago.
Yes, LA and Frisco dictate which direction the state goes.

 

[Meister]

Hmmm, have we seen Katie and Large Marge at a party together yet???

 

[Muhammed]

She's also on video screeching at one her illegal alien slaves.

 

[Votto]