- Feb 12, 2007
- 59,384
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Bwahahaha! This is classic!
Black Lives Matter is a confusing movement, since they seem to only care about certain black lives, while ignoring the rest. But I guess it’s more economical on Twitter to use a 16-character hashtag, as opposed to a more accurate name for the movement, such as #Black Lives Matter When Ended By Police Or Whites In A Manner That Can Be Exploited For Political And Financial Gain And No I Don’t Want To Look At Your Murder Statistics Shut Up Shut Up La La La I’m Not Listening Go Awaaaaaaay.
(snip)
While Black Lives Matter continues to descend into comic uselessness, there nevertheless remain many social justice topics that require vigilance and grassroots activism. Therefore please find below a list of activist groups that have come to my attention, each of them worthy of your consideration and each palpably less entitled, ridiculous, and hypocritical than Black Lives Matter.
Some of them have been going for a long time; others are still nascent. But none of them is as preposterous and socially counter-productive as Black Lives Matter.
BLACK WIVES MATTER
With more than 71 per cent of black children born out of wedlock, black wives are an endangered species – though you won’t hear much about this from the likes of Vox and BuzzFeed. Black moms deserve a grassroots movement to put a little pressure on baby-daddies everywhere.
BLACK KNIVES MATTER
Gun crime gets all the glory, and the (black-wielded) pistol is the undisputed king of black murders. But knives deserve attention too, if only because knives are a lot less likely to take out innocent victims – an all-too-common story in warzones like Chiraq.
BLACK HIVES MATTER
Honey is a key ingredient for many soul food recipes. So where is the support for the vanishingly few black beekeepers? If Black Hives Matter is anything like Black Lives Matter, they will blame the dreaded Colony Collapse Disorder on neocolonial patriarchy and break up the next Vermont Beekeepers’ Association summer BBQ with shrieking about how the Queen Bee is only large and in charge because she’s internalised so much white male misogyny.
BLACK LIVES FATTER
Obesity is an American problem, but especially a black American problem. 4 out of 5 black women in the US are overweight or obese, yet the fat acceptance movement is primarily geared towards the whinging white whales of the Internet. Not any more! It’s time for fat acceptance to penetrate this new market.
(many more at the link!)
16 Movements Less Ridiculous Than Black Lives Matter - Breitbart
Black Lives Matter is a confusing movement, since they seem to only care about certain black lives, while ignoring the rest. But I guess it’s more economical on Twitter to use a 16-character hashtag, as opposed to a more accurate name for the movement, such as #Black Lives Matter When Ended By Police Or Whites In A Manner That Can Be Exploited For Political And Financial Gain And No I Don’t Want To Look At Your Murder Statistics Shut Up Shut Up La La La I’m Not Listening Go Awaaaaaaay.
(snip)
While Black Lives Matter continues to descend into comic uselessness, there nevertheless remain many social justice topics that require vigilance and grassroots activism. Therefore please find below a list of activist groups that have come to my attention, each of them worthy of your consideration and each palpably less entitled, ridiculous, and hypocritical than Black Lives Matter.
Some of them have been going for a long time; others are still nascent. But none of them is as preposterous and socially counter-productive as Black Lives Matter.
BLACK WIVES MATTER
With more than 71 per cent of black children born out of wedlock, black wives are an endangered species – though you won’t hear much about this from the likes of Vox and BuzzFeed. Black moms deserve a grassroots movement to put a little pressure on baby-daddies everywhere.
BLACK KNIVES MATTER
Gun crime gets all the glory, and the (black-wielded) pistol is the undisputed king of black murders. But knives deserve attention too, if only because knives are a lot less likely to take out innocent victims – an all-too-common story in warzones like Chiraq.
BLACK HIVES MATTER
Honey is a key ingredient for many soul food recipes. So where is the support for the vanishingly few black beekeepers? If Black Hives Matter is anything like Black Lives Matter, they will blame the dreaded Colony Collapse Disorder on neocolonial patriarchy and break up the next Vermont Beekeepers’ Association summer BBQ with shrieking about how the Queen Bee is only large and in charge because she’s internalised so much white male misogyny.
BLACK LIVES FATTER
Obesity is an American problem, but especially a black American problem. 4 out of 5 black women in the US are overweight or obese, yet the fat acceptance movement is primarily geared towards the whinging white whales of the Internet. Not any more! It’s time for fat acceptance to penetrate this new market.
(many more at the link!)
16 Movements Less Ridiculous Than Black Lives Matter - Breitbart
