Conservatives with the means (maybe retirees) should amass in liberal areas until representation there changes, then move on to the next liberal area. Sort of a fluid 'Bleeding Kansas' thing. Play the long game.
You're obsessed with sports almost as much as you're intimidated by education and scared of people who don't look like you. It seems highly likely that you tried some sport one time and failed so spectacularly that the humiliation has traumatized you to this day.