Who is Jack Schitt?

Discussion in 'Humor' started by manu1959, Nov 18, 2004.

  1. manu1959
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    manu1959 Left Coast Isolationist

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    For some time many of us have wondered just who is
    Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone
    says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well,thanks to my
    genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an
    intellectual way.

    Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt,
    the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner
    of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack. In
    turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply
    religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt,
    Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins
    Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents'
    objections,Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high
    school dropout.

    After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt
    divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and,
    because her kids were living with them, she wanted to
    keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe
    Schitt Sherlock.

    Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they
    produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named
    Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla
    Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout
    childhood and subsequently married the Happens
    brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement
    in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens
    nuptials.

    The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and
    Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to
    tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with
    his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

    Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt, "
    you can correct them.

    Sincerely,
    Crock O. Schitt
     
  2. fuzzykitten99
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    fuzzykitten99 Senior Member

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    this is on a t-shirt one of my ex-boyfriends had about 6 years ago. I still think it's funny!
     

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