U.S. Covenant: TrumpUSA Prose

Discussion in 'USMB Lounge' started by Abishai100, Mar 21, 2018.

  1. Abishai100
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    Abishai100 VIP Member

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    This is a TrumpUSA space-odyssey tale meant to invoke the question, "Will Trump's era yield nifty pro-human storytelling or only corruption-gossip, media scandals, and capitalism/globalization protests?"

    Signing off (Happy St. Patrick's Day, USMB!),




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    A group of space-explorers sent to Saturn by U.S. President Donald Trump and NASA discovered strange archaeological cave-drawings of what seemed to be Xenomorphs (the fictional alien creatures in the popular Alien sci-fi horror film franchise!). The space-explorers concluded that these Xenomorph renderings could in fact be characterizations of some real alien-intelligence that the unknown intelligent inhabitants of Saturn met and drawn (before apparently disappearing!). The drawings were taken back to NASA.

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    NASA assembled a special team of society figures and army-soldiers to return to Saturn to search for these 'Xenomorph-like' creatures. The society figures were chosen to be diplomats (in the event that the creatures were friendly/peaceful), and the soldiers were 'insurance.' Ajay Satan and Kay Bar were the U.S. soldiers on board this mission (on the U.S. vessel Covenant!). When the crew arrived on Saturn, they quickly discovered the Xenomorphs were real and very hostile. Kay Bar was killed and Ajay Satan was elected to pursue the creatures so they wouldn't follow the crew back to Earth.

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    Ajay took leafs of paper with the Xenomorph drawings NASA gave the crew as a diplomatic 'package.' Ajay decided to flash these drawings in front of the Xenomorphs with his laser-gun which was equipped with a very powerful built-in flashlight. When Ajay saw a Xenomorph running by (while hunting them, or trying to!), he'd yell, "I come in peace. Look! This is a drawing of you! We mean you no harm!" If the Xenomorphs did not respond peacefully, Ajay would shoot them (from long-range) with his laser-gun, making sure to pierce their skull and avoid the splash (assuming shrewdly that the Xenomorphs possessed corrosive acidic blood which would burn right through Ajay's skin if contact was made, just like in the Alien films!). Ajay knew then that the Alien films must have been some strange elaborate government cover-up meant to keep-secret the fact that the Xenomorphs presented in the films were actually real aliens that NASA somehow and at sometime discovered --- perhaps on Apollo 11).

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    The U.S. vessel Covenant which landed on Saturn was equipped with all amenities, but Ajay made sure none of the Xenomorphs on Saturn crept into the ship. He also ordered the other crew members to stand by the windows of the Covenant and shoot any Xenomorph with their laser-guns (there were 15 laser-guns in all) if they saw the creatures trying to board their ship. Meanwhile, Ajay was continuing to explore Saturn. He fled two hostile Xenomorphs and killed three (with sharp laser-shots to their skull). What Ajay didn't know was that a human survivor of Apollo 11 was hiding in one of caves of Saturn. This human never aged (mysteriously). His name was Alex and he explained to Ajay that the Xenomorphs were playing a 'game' to see if humans were too naïve to prevent them from following them back to Earth!

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    Alex showed Ajay a painting of a giant squid-like Xenomorph the Xenomorphs were genetically-designing to plant into the Pacific Ocean should a colonization-invasion mission to Earth ever begin(!). This giant-squid Xenomorph was named Ozmandius. It was ominous indeed, and Ajay got the creepy feeling that Alex was somehow trying to help the Xenomorphs invade Earth. Ajay was drinking a special tea which grew on Saturn that Alex had made for the two of them when Alex tried to kill him, so Ajay shot him in the heart with his laser-gun. Ajay always remembered Alex and his haunting painting of Ozmandius.

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    A special committee on Earth was organized by the Trump Administration to determine the human response should Ajay's crew on Covenant encounter hostile Xenomorphs. This committee was designed more or less as damage and panic-control. Alex never told Ajay if the Alien films presenting Xenomorphs were part of a government cover-up, but Ajay knew that had to be the truth. How else would one explain such a truly bizarre and quirky coincidence? Meanwhile, the gossip about the film conspiracy leaked into the American public, and Hollywood (USA) actor/celebrity George Clooney wanted to officially protest.

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    Clooney wrote to the Washington Post urging the government not to dishonour the crew of the real U.S. vessel Covenant by disclosing that this film cover-up conspiracy was indeed real! Clooney received a great deal of support from his Hollywood industry peers as well as from a handful of U.S. Senators (all Democrats), but he was contacted by the CIA and informed he would be part of the crew of the next NASA mission to Saturn, aboard the U.S. vessel Solaris (just like from Clooney's space-odyssey film of the same title!).

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    Ajay's laser-guns were serving him well. He also discovered there were two other survivors of Apollo 11 hiding on Saturn who also had never aged. Their names were Jonas and Jane, and they were siblings. Apollo 11 was top-secret and never disclosed to the public, and Jonas and Jane showed Ajay the underground lair the Xenomorphs built in honor of their pagan fury-gods, complete with miniature models of Xenomorph offspring-cocoons. Ajay was warned never to touch these cocoons. Ajay escorted Jonas and Jane back to the Covenant before returning to this lair, sure that the Xenomorphs had set the 'arena' as a trap (to see if any human was foolish enough to try to engage with them with weapons!).

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    Ajay was correct. The Xenomorphs returned to this lair (6 in all) and began scurrying around, having not noticed Ajay who was hiding in a corner and watching them in awe. Ajay watched the Xenomorphs dancing around their cocoon monuments and he thought one of them muttered some intelligible words which sounded like, "Kill Trump." Ajay realized these Xenomorphs were very very intelligent and full of wrath. Ajay jumped out of his hiding-spot when the 6 aliens were divided into two groups, 3 on one side of the lair-room and 3 on the other. This gave the sharp-shooting Ajay enough time to target and shoot each Xenomorph in the skull before they closed in on him! Ajay then ran back to the Covenant.

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    Ajay flew the Covenant back to Earth (carrying all the crew as well as Jonas and Jane). Ajay reported to NASA that Kay Bar and the mysterious hostile Apollo 11 survivor Alex were all killed (but he never disclosed the secret that Alex in fact tried to kill Ajay for some unknown reason). Ajay concluded that Alex had simply become obsessed with the Xenomorphs, and Jonas and Jane had nothing more to report (they simply wanted to get back to normal life on Earth). Ajay became a comic book artist, drawing portraits of the Xenomorphs he killed in that eerie 'Xeno-lair' on Saturn. Ajay always wondered however if there were more Xenomorphs out there --- somewhere in the galaxy (or universe!).

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    As the NASA mission prepared to send the US vessel Solaris to Saturn, with George Clooney as a crew-member, the U.S. government had cleared up all social hysteria surrounding the numerous rumors that there was an elaborate film conspiracy cover-up involving the secret NASA mission Apollo 11. Since Ajay never disclosed anything 'extra' to the press, the American people were simply satisfied and at peace. However, Ajay did tell Clooney about Alex's painting of Ozmandius, and Clooney realized the giant-squid the Xenomorphs were 'engineering' was a 'AntiChrist beast' meant to be an omen about mankind's sins regarding eco-pollution. Clooney boarded Solaris with a hidden painting of Yellowstone National Park. Would the Xenomorphs on Saturn (should there be more of them hiding there) still be hostile once they saw Clooney's painting of Yellowstone?

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    GOD: I'm intrigued by Mission Solaris.
    SATAN: Yes, I think Clooney wisely carried that Yellowstone painting with him.
    GOD: It seems the Xenomorphs are furious about mankind's eco-pollution.
    SATAN: That's correct; that's why they hate Trump (and Ajay knew it!).
    GOD: Ajay is in shock and trying to recover privately with his comic book art.
    SATAN: Do you think the Xenomorphs will receive Solaris peacefully?
    GOD: Yes, I think Covenant was the test, and Ajay passed the aliens' test!
    SATAN: So, this time the Xenos will receive 'ambassador Clooney' peacefully.
    GOD: That's exactly what will happen...
    SATAN: What about Ozmandius?
    GOD: There're already crypto-zoological 'rumors' about real giant-squids on Earth!
    SATAN: Yes, and those rumors reflect humanity's own angst about eco-pollution.
    GOD: Maybe humanity is learning from the Xenomorphs after all...
    SATAN: I wonder how the Trump Administration will respond?
    GOD: This is Donald Trump's second-term, and many speculate his son will run too.
    SATAN: Donald Trump, Jr.!
    GOD: Yes. Perhaps capitalism-culture in modern America will render unexpected intrigue.
    SATAN: Let's hope this intrigue is idealistic and not cynical gossip...
    GOD: Well, the last celebrity-president gave America unsatisfying 'Reaganomics.'
    SATAN: Will 'Trumponomics' generate some nifty human-teamwork films (perhaps)?
    GOD: We'll see...

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    :dance:


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