Trump puts nation on "double-red threat alert" for terrorists posing as peaceful 75 year olds!

[DrLove]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Announcing that he was putting the nation on a “double-red threat level,” Donald J. Trump warned the American people on Tuesday to be on the lookout for terrorists posing as peaceful seventy-five-year-olds.​

​

“One of these terrorists was already identified by the police in Buffalo,” Trump said. “They may be coming to your town next.”​

​

Trump listed some “telltale signs of Antifa,” in order to help Americans identify septuagenarian terrorists in their midst.​

​

“If the person appears to be seventy-five or older, with white hair and a peaceful demeanor, call the authorities immediately,” Trump said.​

​

He warned that Antifa terrorists are infiltrating American society “everywhere,” even on Zoom.​

​

“If you are on Zoom with your family and an elderly person suddenly appears with a friendly smile, a string of pearls, and the nickname ‘Grandma,’ you have been attacked by Antifa,” he said.​

Trump Puts Nation on Alert for Terrorists Posing as Peaceful Seventy-Five-Year-Olds

“One of these terrorists was already identified by the police in Buffalo,” the President said. “They may be coming to your town next.”

www.newyorker.com

 

[martybegan]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Announcing that he was putting the nation on a “double-red threat level,” Donald J. Trump warned the American people on Tuesday to be on the lookout for terrorists posing as peaceful seventy-five-year-olds.​

​

“One of these terrorists was already identified by the police in Buffalo,” Trump said. “They may be coming to your town next.”​

​

Trump listed some “telltale signs of Antifa,” in order to help Americans identify septuagenarian terrorists in their midst.​

​

“If the person appears to be seventy-five or older, with white hair and a peaceful demeanor, call the authorities immediately,” Trump said.​

​

He warned that Antifa terrorists are infiltrating American society “everywhere,” even on Zoom.​

​

“If you are on Zoom with your family and an elderly person suddenly appears with a friendly smile, a string of pearls, and the nickname ‘Grandma,’ you have been attacked by Antifa,” he said.​

Trump Puts Nation on Alert for Terrorists Posing as Peaceful Seventy-Five-Year-Olds

“One of these terrorists was already identified by the police in Buffalo,” the President said. “They may be coming to your town next.”

www.newyorker.com

He made contact with the cops several times, walking up to them.

You can't do that.

 

[theHawk]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Announcing that he was putting the nation on a “double-red threat level,” Donald J. Trump warned the American people on Tuesday to be on the lookout for terrorists posing as peaceful seventy-five-year-olds.​

​

“One of these terrorists was already identified by the police in Buffalo,” Trump said. “They may be coming to your town next.”​

​

Trump listed some “telltale signs of Antifa,” in order to help Americans identify septuagenarian terrorists in their midst.​

​

“If the person appears to be seventy-five or older, with white hair and a peaceful demeanor, call the authorities immediately,” Trump said.​

​

He warned that Antifa terrorists are infiltrating American society “everywhere,” even on Zoom.​

​

“If you are on Zoom with your family and an elderly person suddenly appears with a friendly smile, a string of pearls, and the nickname ‘Grandma,’ you have been attacked by Antifa,” he said.​

Trump Puts Nation on Alert for Terrorists Posing as Peaceful Seventy-Five-Year-Olds

“One of these terrorists was already identified by the police in Buffalo,” the President said. “They may be coming to your town next.”

www.newyorker.com

Newsflash, Antifa/BLM Social Justice Terrorists have taken over six city blocks of a major US city. These domestic terrorists are demanding that police be defunded and disbanded. Your Democrat limp-dick mayors are quivering in fear, and your Democrat governors aren’t doing anything to stop it.

You losers can’t get your way through democracy, passing laws, and allowing the people to vote on these issues, so instead you use violence.

America is going to be with the people that stand up to these anarchists and terrorists.

 

[DrLove]

He made contact with the cops several times, walking up to them.

You can't do that.

Assholes pushed over a 75 year old man.

You can't do that.

 

[martybegan]

He made contact with the cops several times, walking up to them.

You can't do that.

Assholes pushed over a 75 year old man.

You can't do that.

So cops can't defend themselves?

What should they have done? Just let him keep touching them.

All they did was push, he fell awkwardly.

He approached a moving police line enacting a valid curfew. He's a fucking idiot.

 

[DrLove]

He made contact with the cops several times, walking up to them.

You can't do that.

Assholes pushed over a 75 year old man.

You can't do that.

So cops can't defend themselves?

What should they have done? Just let him keep touching them.

All they did was push, he fell awkwardly.

He approached a moving police line enacting a valid curfew. He's a fucking idiot.

He wasn't "touching them" Officers have been arrested. Hopefully they spend a good long time in prison.

 

[toobfreak]

He made contact with the cops several times, walking up to them.

You can't do that.

Assholes pushed over a 75 year old man.

You can't do that.

Apparently YOU CAN. And SHOULD.

1. If you are fragile and 75 years old, you have no business being there ITFP. Stay home and take your Geritol.
2. A cop is about crowd control. It is split second reaction. They don't have time to stop and chat and ask every person who gets in their face how old they are and if they bruise easy.

Just watch the Donald push over a 77 year old fart this fall. Then stand on his neck. BIDEN: I can't win! I can't win!

 

[martybegan]

He made contact with the cops several times, walking up to them.

You can't do that.

Assholes pushed over a 75 year old man.

You can't do that.

So cops can't defend themselves?

What should they have done? Just let him keep touching them.

All they did was push, he fell awkwardly.

He approached a moving police line enacting a valid curfew. He's a fucking idiot.

He wasn't "touching them" Officers have been arrested. Hopefully they spend a good long time in prison.

They are going to be found not guilty. he was making contact with them.

 

[DrLove]

He made contact with the cops several times, walking up to them.

You can't do that.

Assholes pushed over a 75 year old man.

You can't do that.

So cops can't defend themselves?

What should they have done? Just let him keep touching them.

All they did was push, he fell awkwardly.

He approached a moving police line enacting a valid curfew. He's a fucking idiot.

He wasn't "touching them" Officers have been arrested. Hopefully they spend a good long time in prison.

They are going to be found not guilty. he was making contact with them.

In an environment such as this in which violence by cops on innocent protesters is condemned and 77% support peaceful protests after the Floyd murder?

Don't count on it.

 

[martybegan]

He made contact with the cops several times, walking up to them.

You can't do that.

Assholes pushed over a 75 year old man.

You can't do that.

So cops can't defend themselves?

What should they have done? Just let him keep touching them.

All they did was push, he fell awkwardly.

He approached a moving police line enacting a valid curfew. He's a fucking idiot.

He wasn't "touching them" Officers have been arrested. Hopefully they spend a good long time in prison.

They are going to be found not guilty. he was making contact with them.

In an environment such as this in which violence by cops on innocent protesters is condemned and 77% support peaceful protests after the Floyd murder?

Don't count on it.

He wasn't being peaceful.

 

[DrLove]

He made contact with the cops several times, walking up to them.

You can't do that.

Assholes pushed over a 75 year old man.

You can't do that.

So cops can't defend themselves?

What should they have done? Just let him keep touching them.

All they did was push, he fell awkwardly.

He approached a moving police line enacting a valid curfew. He's a fucking idiot.

He wasn't "touching them" Officers have been arrested. Hopefully they spend a good long time in prison.

They are going to be found not guilty. he was making contact with them.

In an environment such as this in which violence by cops on innocent protesters is condemned and 77% support peaceful protests after the Floyd murder?

Don't count on it.

He wasn't being peaceful.

Start your own thread loony bird. This one is in satire.

 

[martybegan]

He made contact with the cops several times, walking up to them.

You can't do that.

Assholes pushed over a 75 year old man.

You can't do that.

So cops can't defend themselves?

What should they have done? Just let him keep touching them.

All they did was push, he fell awkwardly.

He approached a moving police line enacting a valid curfew. He's a fucking idiot.

He wasn't "touching them" Officers have been arrested. Hopefully they spend a good long time in prison.

They are going to be found not guilty. he was making contact with them.

In an environment such as this in which violence by cops on innocent protesters is condemned and 77% support peaceful protests after the Floyd murder?

Don't count on it.

He wasn't being peaceful.

Start your own thread loony bird. This one is in satire.

Your responses are not satire, you are actually dumb enough to believe what you are saying.

 

[DrLove]

He made contact with the cops several times, walking up to them.

You can't do that.

Assholes pushed over a 75 year old man.

You can't do that.

So cops can't defend themselves?

What should they have done? Just let him keep touching them.

All they did was push, he fell awkwardly.

He approached a moving police line enacting a valid curfew. He's a fucking idiot.

He wasn't "touching them" Officers have been arrested. Hopefully they spend a good long time in prison.

They are going to be found not guilty. he was making contact with them.

In an environment such as this in which violence by cops on innocent protesters is condemned and 77% support peaceful protests after the Floyd murder?

Don't count on it.

He wasn't being peaceful.

Start your own thread loony bird. This one is in satire.

Your responses are not satire, you are actually dumb enough to believe what you are saying.

You respond to satire every time with something stupid. Suggest not looking.

 

[martybegan]

He made contact with the cops several times, walking up to them.

You can't do that.

Assholes pushed over a 75 year old man.

You can't do that.

So cops can't defend themselves?

What should they have done? Just let him keep touching them.

All they did was push, he fell awkwardly.

He approached a moving police line enacting a valid curfew. He's a fucking idiot.

He wasn't "touching them" Officers have been arrested. Hopefully they spend a good long time in prison.

They are going to be found not guilty. he was making contact with them.

In an environment such as this in which violence by cops on innocent protesters is condemned and 77% support peaceful protests after the Floyd murder?

Don't count on it.

He wasn't being peaceful.

Start your own thread loony bird. This one is in satire.

Your responses are not satire, you are actually dumb enough to believe what you are saying.

You respond to satire every time with something stupid. Suggest not looking.

Again, you aren't treating it as satire.

FOAD, you useless troll fuck.

 

[DrLove]

He made contact with the cops several times, walking up to them.

You can't do that.

Assholes pushed over a 75 year old man.

You can't do that.

So cops can't defend themselves?

What should they have done? Just let him keep touching them.

All they did was push, he fell awkwardly.

He approached a moving police line enacting a valid curfew. He's a fucking idiot.

He wasn't "touching them" Officers have been arrested. Hopefully they spend a good long time in prison.

They are going to be found not guilty. he was making contact with them.

In an environment such as this in which violence by cops on innocent protesters is condemned and 77% support peaceful protests after the Floyd murder?

Don't count on it.

He wasn't being peaceful.

Start your own thread loony bird. This one is in satire.

Your responses are not satire, you are actually dumb enough to believe what you are saying.

You respond to satire every time with something stupid. Suggest not looking.

Again, you aren't treating it as satire.

FOAD, you useless troll fuck.

You made a stupid comment in a satire thread. FOAD yourself ya useless troll fuck

 

[martybegan]

He made contact with the cops several times, walking up to them.

You can't do that.

Assholes pushed over a 75 year old man.

You can't do that.

So cops can't defend themselves?

What should they have done? Just let him keep touching them.

All they did was push, he fell awkwardly.

He approached a moving police line enacting a valid curfew. He's a fucking idiot.

He wasn't "touching them" Officers have been arrested. Hopefully they spend a good long time in prison.

They are going to be found not guilty. he was making contact with them.

In an environment such as this in which violence by cops on innocent protesters is condemned and 77% support peaceful protests after the Floyd murder?

Don't count on it.

He wasn't being peaceful.

Start your own thread loony bird. This one is in satire.

Your responses are not satire, you are actually dumb enough to believe what you are saying.

You respond to satire every time with something stupid. Suggest not looking.

Again, you aren't treating it as satire.

FOAD, you useless troll fuck.

You made a stupid comment in a satire thread. FOAD yourself ya useless troll fuck

Again, you don't think it's satire you mouth breathing fucktard.

I hope a riot spills over up your asshole.

 

[DrLove]

Again, you don't think it's satire you mouth breathing fucktard.

I hope a riot spills over up your asshole.

You endlessly and stupidly waste my time. Buh-Bye!

 

[busybee01]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Announcing that he was putting the nation on a “double-red threat level,” Donald J. Trump warned the American people on Tuesday to be on the lookout for terrorists posing as peaceful seventy-five-year-olds.​

​

“One of these terrorists was already identified by the police in Buffalo,” Trump said. “They may be coming to your town next.”​

​

Trump listed some “telltale signs of Antifa,” in order to help Americans identify septuagenarian terrorists in their midst.​

​

“If the person appears to be seventy-five or older, with white hair and a peaceful demeanor, call the authorities immediately,” Trump said.​

​

He warned that Antifa terrorists are infiltrating American society “everywhere,” even on Zoom.​

​

“If you are on Zoom with your family and an elderly person suddenly appears with a friendly smile, a string of pearls, and the nickname ‘Grandma,’ you have been attacked by Antifa,” he said.​

Trump Puts Nation on Alert for Terrorists Posing as Peaceful Seventy-Five-Year-Olds

“One of these terrorists was already identified by the police in Buffalo,” the President said. “They may be coming to your town next.”

www.newyorker.com

He made contact with the cops several times, walking up to them.

You can't do that.

He talked to them. Since when is that a crime?

 

[busybee01]

He made contact with the cops several times, walking up to them.

You can't do that.

Assholes pushed over a 75 year old man.

You can't do that.

So cops can't defend themselves?

What should they have done? Just let him keep touching them.

All they did was push, he fell awkwardly.

He approached a moving police line enacting a valid curfew. He's a fucking idiot.

Defend themselves? That is a good joke. Two police officers threatened by a 75 year old unarmed man.

 

[busybee01]

He made contact with the cops several times, walking up to them.

You can't do that.

Assholes pushed over a 75 year old man.

You can't do that.

So cops can't defend themselves?

What should they have done? Just let him keep touching them.

All they did was push, he fell awkwardly.

He approached a moving police line enacting a valid curfew. He's a fucking idiot.

He wasn't "touching them" Officers have been arrested. Hopefully they spend a good long time in prison.

They are going to be found not guilty. he was making contact with them.

In an environment such as this in which violence by cops on innocent protesters is condemned and 77% support peaceful protests after the Floyd murder?

Don't count on it.

He wasn't being peaceful.

Another lie. Try telling the truth for a change.