Top 8 Morons Of 2003

Discussion in 'Current Events' started by KLSuddeth, Apr 5, 2004.

  1. KLSuddeth
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    KLSuddeth Guest

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    1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?

    AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.


    2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
    Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."


    3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
    An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.


    4. THE GETAWAY!
    A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.


    5. DID I SAY THAT???
    Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a line-up. When detectives asked each man in the line-up to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "that's not what I said!"


    6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??
    A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!


    7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
    In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.(hellllllooooooo!)


    8. THE GRAND FINALE (I LOVE THIS ONE!!!)
    Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, Cal. some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough top side check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER... THIS IS TRUE . Under the boat, still
    strapped securely in place, was the trailer.
     
  2. NewGuy
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    Since I am from near there, number 2 really made me laugh.
     
  3. Sandy73
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    :laugh:
     
  4. acludem
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    acludem VIP Member

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    :clap1:

    acludem
     
  5. Avatar4321
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    Avatar4321 Diamond Member Gold Supporting Member

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    Very good. Why not add another two to the list to make it an even ten. Micheal and Janet Jackson.
     
  6. jimnyc
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    jimnyc ...

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    I'm very disappointed to learn I haven't made the list. :(
     
  7. KLSuddeth
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    KLSuddeth Guest

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    ok, ok.

    An ammendment to the list.

    JimNYC
    :cof:
     
  8. Moi
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    Moi Active Member

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    OH MY GOD

    What idiots!
     
  9. winston churchi
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    winston churchi Member

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    A very small wealthy town in New York (shall be nameless to protect the morons - part two of your list) a young man wanted to prove how moronic the local police were...it seems they're only ability is to stop teenagers from drinking in the park - one of those teens stole a car from his friend and parked it in front of the police station. The friend reported the car stolen. It took the police three days to locate it....to add insult to injury, the car had three parking tickets on it.

    In this same very small wealthy town there was a bank robbery and the police spend hours searching for the culprits who sat across the street from the bank the whole time. They ordered food from the deli and sat and watch the show...they were later caught by the town overs police and the culprits relayed the story.

    A very large home in this town - a woman returned home from shopping. Her doors were unlocked. A man was seen leaving the front door of her home....she asked what he was doing - he said he had just robbed her...she called the police...the theif was never caught to this day - it was noted that he apparently escaped on foot.
     

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