Tillerson caught under Trump's desk disconnecting nuke button

Discussion in 'Political Satire' started by DrLove, Jan 3, 2018.

  1. DrLove
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    DrLove Gold Member

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    Somebody had to do it :smile:

    WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Secretary of State Rex Tillerson was caught crouching under Donald J. Trump’s Oval Office desk on Wednesday, in an attempt to disconnect Trump’s newly installed nuclear button.

    The button, reportedly measuring a massive eight inches in diameter, has been a subject of considerable alarm for Trump’s national-security team since he had it installed on his desk, earlier in the week.

    According to White House sources, Tillerson, Secretary of Defense Jim Mattis, and the national-security adviser H. R. McMaster drew straws late Tuesday night to determine who would carry out the high-stakes disconnection mission.

    After Tillerson drew the shortest straw, he decided to enter the Oval Office surreptitously Wednesday morning while Trump took a bathroom break.

    The Secretary of State had crawled under the desk and was on the verge of disconnecting the gigantic button when he was surprised by the sudden entrance of Vice-President Mike Pence, who had arrived to deliver his daily praise of Trump.

    Flustered, Tillerson muttered something about “looking for my glasses” and quickly exited.

    Tillerson, who suffered a gash to the head when he bumped it on Trump’s desk, was resting comfortably at Walter Reed Army Medical Center, where he was heard repeatedly mumbling the words “button” and “moron.”​

    Tillerson Caught Under Trump’s Desk Disconnecting Nuclear Button
     
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  2. Pogo
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    Pogo Diamond Member

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    I'm not worried. Rumps fingers are too tiny for the button.

    But if they make it into a Twitter app, we's in trouble. Especially around 3 or 4 in the morning.
     
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  3. TNHarley
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    TNHarley Diamond Member

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    Fake News
    We all know Dr Love is still under there, stuck <snicker>, from the obie years.
    Poor trump had to buy a new desk because he fired all the cum guzzlers that normally clean that shit up.
     
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  4. Pogo
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    Pogo Diamond Member

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    [​IMG]

     
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  5. Darkwind
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    Darkwind Gold Member

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    Wow. He really managed to get the left to shit themselves. LOL
     
  6. Esmeralda
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    Esmeralda Diamond Member

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    Yep. That's what it is all about, getting the other side upset. That's the main characteristic we need in a president. You are all mentally and emotionally retarded. Bunch of little kids.
     
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  7. WillHaftawaite
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    WillHaftawaite USMB Mod Staff Member Supporting Member

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    Nah, not UNDER the desk anymore...

    Had to move it while Bill Clinton was in office...

    Seems some slut was hitting it with her head 3-4 times a week
     
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  8. Darkwind
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    Darkwind Gold Member

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    LMAO
    I'm not the one losing My mind over some rhetoric that amounts to nothing more than sabre rattling. Something that the USA and every country has done in the past.

    Anyone who thinks that Trump can just push a button and start a nuclear war is mentally on the level of a third grader and has watched far to many Hollywood doomsday movies.
     
  9. TNHarley
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    TNHarley Diamond Member

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    If you had any self awareness, you.. well... idk but you certainly wouldnt have said that shit.
     
  10. Meathead
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    Meathead Gold Member

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    I'm pretty sure it wasn't his fingers that induced widespread butt hurt.
     

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